Showing posts with label Israel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Israel. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 19, 2024

NOT THE BIG BANANA!

 


This is unbelievable. Apparently NOTHING is sacred any more. The Big Banana! 

Located in Coffs Harbour on the NSW north coast, this is surely Australia's MOST SACRED LAND MARK, although some might make a case for Queensland's Big Pineapple or maybe NSW's Southern Highlands Big Potato. Australia has many Big Things that are ALL sacred to ALL true patriots!

And now some VANDALS have DESECRATED this ICON -- and for what? To call for a ceasation of killings in Gaza??? SIMPLY because it amounts to a horrific genocide that has killed more than 37,000 civilians, rendered the Gaza Strip uninhabitable and currently threatens thousands of children with starvation??? 

Some people have ZERO sense of perspective.

I just hope the Australian Defence Force is being mobilised RIGHT NOW to protect the Big Prawn, the Big Lobster, the Big Cane Toad and the Big Galah from the horror of some spraypainted slogans calling for peace.

What has this got to do with Australia anyway? Just because our government has signficant military ties to the Israeli state, including manufactoring parts for F35 planes bombing Gaza that the govenrment is refusing to cancel???

And "ceasefire"! What a horrific display of unmitigated hatred! 

We ALL know that while TECHNICALLY this slogan is a call for the bloodshed to cease, it is REALLY code for the destruction of all Israelis. And sadly such hatred is on the rise globally, as seen by the mass protests of thousands of Israelis calling for a ceasefire! It is so sad so many Israelis can hate Israelis to such an extent that they want to stop a conflict in which Israelis are also dying!

I honestly never thought I would live to see such horrors in this country as wanton and wilful calls for a ceasefire to stop a genocide. Next people will start asking our government to stop faciliating it, and God only knows what follows that. A better, more peacful and safer world? Christ wept.





Tuesday, May 08, 2018

CONFIRMED! YES! TRUMP COLLUDED WITH A FOREIGN GOVERNMENT!!!


RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA I KNEW IT RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA  rUSSIA Russia Russia... Russia Russia RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA  RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA  Russia Russia Putin Russia Moscow PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN Russia Russia Russia RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA ....

RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA  Putin ... I knew it...

PUTIN...

MOSCOW...

PUTIN...

RUSSIA I KNEW IT Russia Russia Russia I kne...

Oh shit, it's not Russia!

Holy fuck!

It's Israel.


The Guardian reports:

Revealed: Trump team hired Israeli spy firm for ‘dirty ops’ on Iran arms deal
Aides to Donald Trump, the US president, hired an Israeli private intelligence agency to orchestrate a “dirty ops” campaign against key individuals from the Obama administration who helped negotiate the Iran nuclear deal, the Observer can reveal... 
Jack Straw, who as foreign secretary was involved in earlier efforts to restrict Iranian weapons, said: “These are extraordinary and appalling allegations but which also illustrate a high level of desperation by Trump and [the Israeli prime minister] Benjamin Netanyahu, not so much to discredit the deal but to undermine those around it.”
... [It is not]  known if the black ops constituted only a strand of a wider Trump-Netanyahu collaboration to undermine the deal ...
Yes, collaboration with Israel towards destroying a deal to defuse dangerous tensions with Iran, so as to avoid a dangerous war with unpredictable consequences against a nation with a far bigger population that neighbouring Iraq. COZ WHICH SORT OF SICK BASTARD DOES NOT WANT A POTENTIALLY NUCLEAR WAR AGAINST IRAN???

Not that is the first evidence of Trump collusion with Israel. His team did that before  he was even inaugurated president, which is what they are accused of doing with Russia. Such collusion is not legal.

The Intercept wrote:
Trump’s Transition Team Colluded With Israel. Why Isn’t That News? 
...Thanks to Mueller’s ongoing investigation, we now know that prior to President Donald Trump’s inauguration, members of his inner circle went to bat on behalf of Israel, and specifically on behalf of illegal Israeli settlements in the occupied Palestinian territories, behind the scenes and in opposition to official U.S. foreign policy. That’s the kind of collusion with a foreign state that has gotten a lot of attention with respect to the Kremlin – but colluding with Israel seems to be of far less interest, strangely.
Hmmmm. Oh well... I mean if it is the recipient of the largest quantity of US military assistance in the world.... so as to scuttle a deal so as to make war more likely and to back illegal settlements based on ethic cleansing... well... sure it may be collusion with a foreign power, but that kinda thing is about as American as you can get.

As you were.

RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA rUSSIA rUSSIA Russia Russia Russia Putin Putin PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN PUTIN MOSCOW PUTIN RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA ETCETC

RUSSIA.

Here is an irrelevant Tom Waits song coz it is awesome and I haven't posted one in ages.



...And I wondered how the same moon outside over this Chinatown fair
Could look down on Illinois
And find you there
And you know I love you baby
And I'm so far away from home
I'm so far away from home
And I miss my baby so
I can't make it by myself
I love you so...

Friday, November 11, 2016

'Everybody knows the fight was fixed, the poor stays poor, the rich get rich...'


The way this year is shaping up, I am not sure there will actually anyone left alive soon — and with Trump in the White House, I am not just talking about the seemingly endless parade of musicians dropping off. Leonard Cohen is the latest at the decent age of 82.

And while Cohen's crimes included supporting the terrorist state of Israel and writing a song ("Hallelujah") that subjected humanity to an even greater amount of horrific cover versions by dodgy pub acts and buskers than even "Wonderwall", it has to be said "Everybody Knows", from 1998's I'm Your Man, is a disturbingly accurate song for our times...




Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died
Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long-stem rose
Everybody knows

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah, give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

And everybody knows that it's now or never
Everybody knows that it's me or you
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah, when you've done a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton
For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows

And everybody knows that the Plague is coming
Everybody knows that it's moving fast
Everybody knows that the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows

And everybody knows that you're in trouble
Everybody knows what you've been through
From the bloody cross on top of Calvary
To the beach of Malibu
Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Friday, January 20, 2012

New year, new examples of Western values


Slaughtering the natives is one thing, but for FUCK's SAKE show some decorum.


This is an article I wrote that was first published in Green Left Weekly.



It wasn't long into 2012 before fresh evidence emerged of a democratic, free West's civilising mission, providing a sterling example to backward barbarians as the march towards global liberation continues apace.

All in one day, January 13, the media carried three reports shining a spotlight on the higher values and morality of the democratic West: the footage of United States soldiers urinating on the corpses of three Afghan men, the fallout of the murder of an Iranian scientist most likely committed by Israel and the recommendation by a US military tribunal to court martial alleged WikiLeaks source Bradley Manning.

The stories coincided with the 10th anniversary of the US Guantanamo Bay prison camp opening. It is still going strong, holding an estimated 171 detainees without charge — who marked the anniversary by announcing a hunger strike on January 10.

The leader of the free world, US President Barack Obama, marked the occasion by signing into law the 2012 National Defense Authorization Act. Democracy Now! said on January 10 that “some legal experts say [the law] would authorize the military to indefinitely jail anyone it considers a terrorism suspect — without charge or trial”.

Michael Ratner, president emeritus of the Center for Constitutional Rights, told the show this made Obama “the first president ever ... to sign into law indefinite detention as part of the policy of the United States”.

US officials tried to portray the footage of US soldiers urinating on Afghan corpses while cracking jokes as an isolated incident that does not reflect the true nature of US-led occupations.

Just like the Abu Ghraib torture scandal in Iraq; the US army “kill team” that collected the body parts of dead Afghans; the British soldiers who tortured an Iraqi man to death in 2003 (using methods a public inquiry in Britain in 2009 heard was “official policy”); the killing of five Afghan children by Australian soldiers in 2009; and the 2005 massacre of Iraqi civilians by US marines in Haditha, gruesome evidence of which emerged last month.

Isolated incidents, all of them.

As were, no doubt, the much larger number of accounts of abuse, torture and murder by the democratic liberators occupying Iraq and Afghanistan revealed by WikiLeaks.

Manning, the alleged source of this material, is now facing court martial after being held in US military prisons without trial since May 2010. This included months in solitary confinement and being forced to stand to attention while naked every morning.



In an isolated incident, the United States military entirely destroyed the city of Fallujah in 2004, completely destroying more than three quarters of all buildings and slaughtering more than 1200 civilians.


But the most revealing thing about the latest scandal has been the way military figures have responded.

Retired US General Spider Marks, for instance, was quoted by ABC.net.au on January 13 as saying: "They may have slaughtered those guys and that's fine. You move off to your next mission. You don't do what we just saw."

No, clearly not. Slaughter is one thing — the civilised liberator knows that once you slaughter the natives you move on to your next mission, presumably slaughtering more natives. But pissing on the corpses of the natives you have just slaughtered is just not the done thing.

By all means, invade a sovereign nation, replace the brutal fundamentalist regime with a brutal fundamentalist regime, subject the population to a fresh decade of constant warfare, further destroy the poorest nation on Earth already ravaged by two decades of constant war, then slaughter those who fight back. But, for Christ’s sake, show some decorum.

ABC.net.au reported that, for his part, retired Australian Army officer Jim Molan insisted the incident “must be seen in proportion”. He said: “It’s wrong but this is nothing like Abu Ghraib.”

Trying to minimise an incident of abuse by comparing it with an even worse example by the same forces is not overly reassuring. He may as well have said: “You think this one is bad, hell, you should have seen 'em at Abu Ghraib! Woah, now that was some crazy shit!”

Meanwhile, key Western ally The Only Democracy in the Middle East (TM) proved its terrorist credentials with appears to be its latest assassination in Iran of an Iranian scientist (though the Iranian regime has also pointed the finger at the United States). Chemistry expert Mostafa Ahmadi Roshan was killed on January 11 in central Iran by a magnetic bomb placed under his car.

The US denies any role. After Israel first refused to confirm or deny its involvement, Israeli President Shimon Peres said it was not involved "to the best of my knowledge". But, really, if you were accused of blowing up some poor bastard with a car bomb, and you were innocent, would you respond to questions of your involvement by saying: “Well, I can’t really say for sure either way, but I don't think so, as far as I can tell.”

Actually, you would probably not be saying anything — chances are you'd be too busy being tortured in Guantanamo.

I am surprised democratic Israel even found the time to kill Ahmadi Roshan, busy as it's been reinforcing its apartheid-like social structures. Already in the new year, Israeli courts upheld a 2003 ruling that bans “most Palestinians who marry Israelis from obtaining either citizenship or residency” in Israel, AlJazeera.net said on January 12.

Of course there is a lot more happening in the world than just these atrocities. Last year was marked, above all else, by the explosion onto the political scene of ordinary people standing up against oppressive and unjust rulers — from Cairo to Madrid to New York and beyond.

It is worth remembering that when former dictator Hosni Mubarak's thugs fired tear gas on protesters in Egypt, people showed the cameras what was written on the side of the canisters: “Made in the USA.” It's a pretty safe bet the same thing was printed on the side of the tear gas canisters fired on peaceful protesters at Occupy Oakland in October — including the one that nearly killed Iraq War veteran Scott Olsen.

As we enter a new year, it is clear ordinary people share a common enemy — even if the enemy tries in vain to present a democratic, civilised face.





"What's best for the Western and the greed? Kill 'em all? Let 'em breed?" I include this song by The Drones about the horrors of war because I fucking can -- until the United States' government introduces its online censorship laws and destroys the internet as we know it.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Hello world, what's been happening?

Hello!

I thought I would just check in. You know, it has been close to two months since my last post and I wouldn't want my many followers to think I had died. Again.

Anyway, it is not like much has been been happening in the world since September 22. I see the financial system now just directly runs Greece and Italy -- which really sounds like the simplest solution all round.

They did such a great job of running the global financial system and, sure, they own the governments but, at the end of the day, if you want a job done properly you have just got to do it yourself.

It sure calmed the whole thing down and I think the crisis is pretty much averted. If by averted you mean spreading to France.

Meanwhile, the British response to the crippling Global Recession is to start torturing the unemployed. Seriously.

Also, in an unrelated development, in cities around the world, a bunch of people have been hanging out having a chat and attacking police batons and tear gas cannisters and what have you.

Israel is continuing to be the greatest democracy in the Middle East, pursing its relentless goals of peace and justice. Libya has been liberated. Afghanistan continues to show how much it loves its occupiers.

The New South Wales police continue to be the non-violent, free speech-respecting and fundamentally progressive force we all know and love.

The world's climate continues to be just fine with absolutely nothing to worry about -- as Rupert Murdoch's The Australian keeps roping in renowned scientist, sceptic and Sydney Catholic Archbishop George Pell to tell us.

Oh, and I was *so* excited... THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND CAME!!! Seriously, she like, came to Australia!!! I love the English establishment, as fans of the blog can attest, and to have the head of the beast -- so to speak -- in my own country was a joy I could barely contain.

Quite rightly, Melbourne Lord Mayor Robert Doyle had the city centre cleared of all filthy commoner types ahead of Her Majesty's visit.

I did but see her passing by... which really makes it hard to get a decent shot fired off before the cops are onto you and you gotta run. I hate running.

In other news, my sister and her partner came to Sydney last Wednesday. They arrived at the train station at 10am, which, coincidentally, was the exact time the pub across the road opened.

And another highly important development. I have declared my latest campaign: to overtake the Devil Child Himself in Twitter follower numbers. Justin Bieber is, at current count, sitting on 14,447,678, which is *roughly* 14,447,632 more than Carlo Sands.

DON'T LET THE DEVIL CHILD WIN! YOU TOO CAN FOLLOW CARLO SANDS ON TWITTER! @CarloSands. Do it for humanity.

And finally, if you want and are in Sydney, you can see Carlo Sands on a stage in the preliminary final of the Comedy @ The Rox comp, at the Roxbury Hotel in Glebe. You might see something like this.





'Singing "God save the Queen"? Well I think fucking not! And I pray every day that in Hell she may rot...' Sydney City Trash, the greatest Sydney-based country folk punk act from Tamworth, express their love for the English queen.


PS: I don't believe I have ever said the word "fuckity" anywhere on my blog before. That has now changed.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

We should all be able to invoke the Israeli defence

I have discovered the hard way that "But Israel gets to kill who they want!" does not actually hold up in a court of law as a legitimate defence.

This is very disappointing and, frankly, deeply unfair.

I guess we can't always get what we want. I mean, I got a friend who wants a tiny rabbit who can fit in her palm who'd be called Subcommandante Marcos so she can set up a Republic in her bedroom and rule it with the tiny bunny. (This is actually a true story -- you may not believe it but it is true: Carlo Sands does have a friend.)

But I still feel it would be fairer if we could all use the Israeli defence.

"The bastard spilled my drink, Your Honour, so I killed three Egyptian border guards and destroyed more of Gaza's power and water supplies."

"Oh, that's alright, Sands! Why didn't you say so! You are free to go, have a lollipop and the Golan Heights."

But no. It is one rule for Empire's favourite mass murderers and another for the rest of us.

It is quite stunning really. I mean it is nothing new but it is still quite stunning. Israel kills three Egyptian cops -- that is, you know, like another country's cops, *in Egypt* and Egypt's government ... asks for an apology.

I mean, they killed three fucking Egyptian citizens in an unprovoked attack. When your military murders another nation's citizen's in their own country for no reason, it kinda counts as a "significant diplomatic incident" -- just behind serving only light beer at the annual embassy piss-up.

The Egyptian people, fresh from having tossed out a US puppet complicit in Israel's crimes, took it a little harder. There were days of furious mass protests outside the Israeli embassy, which gave the world a brand new superhero: FLAGMAN!

Yes, Egyptian man Ahmed al-Shehat scaled the 22-story building that houses the Israeli embassy, and -- to the roars of the crowd -- tore down the Israeli flag and raised the Egyptian one in its place. The flag was duly delivered to the crowd, who promptly burned the fucking thing.

You can watch the glorious even on YouTube.




Finally, a Superhero to be proud of.



But not even Flagman's heroics were enough to shift the situation.

The humiliation for Egyptians was made worse when, more than a year after Israel massacred nine Turkish citizens in an unprovoked attack in international waters (that some fools compared to an act of "piracy", which as I have argued elsewhere is a gross slander on the good name of pirates everywhere), the Turkish government finally responded by cutting all military ties with Israel.

Israel still sees no reason to even say "sorry" to Turkey, let alone Egypt.

So, with the Egyptian regime still refusing to even expel the Israeli ambassador from Cairo despite Israel's refusal to even say sorry for its unprovoked murder of Egyptian citizens, the Egyptian people took matters into their own hands.

On September 9, a huge demonstration descended on the Israeli embassy in Cairo and, with sledgehammers and their bare hands, tore down the security wall protecting the Israeli embassy and then stormed the building, removing a whole lot of Israeli embassy documents in a kinda of mass direct action WikiLeaks moment.

The Israeli ambassador, all the diplomatic staff and their families were forced to flee -- being evacuated back to Israel by plane.

The Israeli media ran stories about how terrible this was, how as the protesters stormed the building, diplomatic staff were forced into some back room with nothing but armed Israeli guards to protect them against an unarmed crowd. Well, their lives were *clearly* in danger because there is simply no way Israel would kill Egyptians in Egypt is there?

It must have been absolutely terrifying for them, which is horrible because the border guards killed without provocation by an Israeli air strike probably at least had no time to be terrified. They were just blown apart with no warning. That is how *civilised* nations do it.




And so the Egyptian people decided to cut diplomatic ties themselves.



Let us recap.

On August 18, there were attacks in southern Israel that left eight people dead and 40 injured. It was, without any question, an atrocity. An atrocity to which no one has claimed responsibility.

Israel blamed the Gaza-based Popular Resistance Committees -- who denied having anything to do with it.

Cue fresh bombings of besieged Gaza. As well as the three Egyptian cops, by August 26, 22 Palestinians in Gaza had been killed, including children.

For attacks no one knows who was responsible for. Despite which, more than two dozen people are dead with no evidence a single one had anything to do with the initial attack.

If someone steals your iPod, and you go around breaking all the windows in your neighbourhood in retaliation, try the "Israel defence" in your inevitable court case. It won't work. You are not Israel.

Balance

But, it occurred it me, I may be guilty here of only presenting *one side* of the story. Perhaps I am not being balanced enough. And, as anyone who knows me can strongly attest, if Carlo Sands is anything, he is -- above all else -- *balanced*.

So I sought out the counter position on the question of Israel and its behaviour in general and I came across an article from The Australian, which being a Rupert Murdoch paper is one of the most balanced news sources you could find.

I found this article to very convincing and it made me seriously rethink everything I had previously thought.

In a June 7 opinion piece entitled "Palestinians' deadly strategy doomed to fail", The Australian's Middle East correspondent John Lyons opened my eyes to the true situation.

"It is time", he said, "for Palestinians to resume a non-violent struggle of negotiations and give up their strategy of confronting Israeli bullets".

This was in response to a series of protests that occurred in early June on Israeli borders by Palestinians and their supporters in the West Bank, Gaza Strip, Golan Heights in Syria and Lebanon.

The Israeli military opened fire on unarmed protesters on the frontier of Israeli-occupied Golan Heights. More than 20 unarmed protesters were killed.

Now you might think the aggressor here was Israel -- shooting down unarmed protesters demonstrating for an end to illegal Israeli occupation. But that is where you would be wrong.

Lyons' explains quite clearly the aggressor in this case is not the ones doing the shooting but the ones getting shot.

The Palestinians, you see, should stop "confronting Israeli bullets" in such a threatening and provocative manner. They were virtually *begging* the Israeli Defence Forces to shoot them.

How else is Israel meant to respond to such thugs confronting their bullets with with their bodies? Such a threat to Israel's very existence can not be expected to go unanswered.

The Palestinians getting themselves shot so willfully, Lyons points out, merely "allows Israel to argue that it cannot agree to a Palestinian state while it has so much instability on its borders".

The logic is so frighteningly simple, I cannot believe I never saw it before. The death of an Israeli at the hands of a Palestinian is a terrorist atrocity. Palestinians being killed by Israelis is "instability".

Instability, what is more, that is the fault of the Palestinians who brought it on themselves with all their unarmed "protesting" and other such anti-Semitic provocations.

So, "rather than being shot trying to climb through barbed wire" in such a horrifically violent way (just *imagine* how traumatising having to shot an unarmed Palestinian is for some poor member of the IDF!), Lyons argues reasonably that the Palestinians should continue to try and negotiate in the framework of the 1993 Oslo Accords that hs brought them so much progress over the years.

I have thought this through and I can finally see the big picture -- this whole "getting shot dead by Israeli bullets" is just the latest anti-Semitic plot to destroy the Jewish race. The Palestinians maybe irrational fanatics, but they are not stupid.

The plot is clear. If the Palestinains can force Israel to shot enough unarmed people asking for the return of occupied lands, as per countless UN resolutions, then surely, eventually, Israel will run out of bullets.

And then they will be screwed.

You only have to think this thing through to its logical conclusion. Who arms the Israelis? The United States, to the tune of US$3 billion a year.

And the richest nation on Earth is mired in a severe economic crisis and has a nationlal debt in the trillions. Some $2.1 trillion in spending cuts are coming -- while most of it will come from social security for pensioners are other luxuries, it cannot be ruled out that a bit, at least, might come from military spending.

The US is weak right now. It is vulneralbe. If only the Palestinians keep up their violent strategy of of forcing Israel to shoot enough bullets at them at their unarmed protests, they might bring the thing to a tipping point.

The bastards.



A Palestinian confronts Israeli bullets in a bid to bankrupt the Jewish state and drive all Jews into the sea. (*** NOTE ON THIS BELOW)


But the plot thickens even more.

There is an arguably *even bigger* anti-Semitic threat emerging *right here* in Australia! Yes, Palestine solidarity protesters have been holding protests calling for a boycott of Max Brenner chocolate stores.

Now, the protesters *claim* this is because Max Brenner is on a list of companies with ties to the Israeli military that dozens of Palestinian civil society organisations have called for a boycott against in a growing international campaign backed by the likes of South African Nobel Peace Prize winning anti-apartheid activist Archbishop Desmond Tutu, but really any thinking person can see it is being targetted simply because the multinational corporation was set up by Jewish people and this is *just like* the Nazi's boycott of Jewish owned businesses in the 1930s.

It has gotten so dire than the poor multinational chain has had to resort to using such renowned anti-fascists as the British National Party-linked Australian Protectionist Party to defend its stores from the anti-Semitic hordes and their chants asking Max Brenner to cut its ties with IDF army units responsible for serious atrocities.

It was the Murdoch press to the rescue *once more*, with a heartfelt piece in The Australian on how poor Jewish chocolatier Max Brenner is stunned to find himself at the centre of the Middle Eastern conflict.

"Max Brenner says he is a man of peace who hates all forms of violence," an outraged Cameron Stewart writes. "So how has this chocolate maker become the target of anti-Israeli protesters in Australia who accuse him of being complicit with the Israeli military?"

Stewart tells his readers that Mr Brenner was "not available for an interview", but produced a quote from 2009, in which Brenner apparently responded to the protests by saying: "Whether it is in Israel or not, anything to do with violence, aggressiveness or appearing at protests or boycotts seems silly (to me). But then again, I am just a chocolate-maker."

What is all the more impressive about this heartstring-tugging piece is that Max Brenner does not even exist.

There is no Max Brenner, he is just a corporate marketing creation.

Nonetheless, I see no reason why his non-existent status should blind us to how much he is suffering right now at the hands of the anti-Semites. Pretend people have feelings too! My heart breaks whenever I think of the fictitious Max Brenner crying himself to sleep every night, make-believe tears rolling down his not-really-there face.



All decent people should be haunted by the fictitious tears of the non-existent Jewish chocolate-maker Max Brenner, the result of his being targetted by anti-Semites asking that the multinational corporation his made-up name fronts stops sponsoring Israeli military units responsible for very real atrocities.


It is a terrible state of affairs. Having taking the time to *truly listen* to the other side of the story, provided with such objectivity by the Murdoch media, I can clearly see the error of my ways. As far as I am concerned, Israel can kill whoever the fuck they want!

Just so long, it is all I ask, that the rest of us are accorded the exact same privilige. It is really only fair and Kyle Sandilands has been *really* pissing me off.




"I wish I could take your tears and replace them with laughter, Long live Palestine, Long live Gaza!" Infamously anti-Semitic Iraqi-English hip hop artist Lowkey's anthem of hate calls for the total destruction of the Jewish race using code words such as "We stand for peace" and "I know there's plenty of Rabbi's that agree with me".


*** It has been pointed out, in the comment section, that this photo is incorrectly captioned. It is not a Palestinian woman in the photo who has so violently confronted Israeli bullets, but an American Jewish peace activist, Emily Honochowicz. Well, this just goes to show that evil anti-Semites come from all sources, no matter how unexpected. For more information on this question, check out http://nabisalehsolidarity.wordpress.com. It'll shock ya.


Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Those fucking Arabs are doing it all wrong

Well, this year has sure gotten off to a bad start. So far, 2011 has caused your beloved blogger to fall into such deep despair I am still yet to do my post announcing the winner of the 2010 Carlo Sands' Person of the Year for Services to Humanity and Drunkeness.

How do I loathe the year so far? Let me count the ways.

First, some bastard thought a good way to cheer me up as we head into a new godforsaken decade would be to send me a press release from the Australian Bureau of Statistics that explained: “Beer consumption in Australia has fallen gradually but consistently since the 1960s ...”

Overall, Australians only drank 10.4 litres of pure alcohol per person in 2008/09, down from 13.1 litres in 1974/75.

Second, fucking goddamn Newtown bouncers. Seriously, just because we were pissed out of our fucking brains in the early hours of Sunday morning is no god damn reason to deny us entry into pubs to drink more.

Even worse was one of them was an Irish pub! An IRISH PUB! Do you know how distressing and demoralising it is to be rejected as too drunk BY THE FUCKING IRISH?!

Third, and worst of all, a bunch of fucking Arabs have decided they want to run their own fucking countries.

First Tunisia, now goddamn Egypt and there are suggestions this fucking wave of fucking Arabs fucking taking their own affairs into their own fucking hands is spreading to such places as Jordan, Yemen and god knows where else.

Frankly, this just proves how anti-Semitic Arabs truly are. This turn of events is going to make it even harder for Israel to keep insisting it is “the only democracy in the Middle East” without every person within earshot collapsing into laughter.

I mean, presenting Israel as a democracy is hard enough by itself without a bunch of rabid, Jew-hating fascists giving a display of popular power and participatory democracy in glorious revolutions that actually overturn dictatorships backed by Israel and the West.

This can only undermine the moral force of the Jewish state and gives its enemies ammunition. Popular revolutions in Arab countries to overturn US-backed dictatorships are a cruel anti-Semitic maneuver truly worthy of Hitler himself.

This helps explain why Israeli leaders has taken such a clear line against democracy in Egypt.

Another reason why this is such bad news is Arabs are supposed to be all Muslim, all fundamentalist and all terrorists. This state of affairs exists to allow Hollywood writers not to have to actually use their imaginations when inventing bad guys.

A secondary, less important, effect of all Arabs being fundamentalist Muslims terrorists is it enables Western governments to use racism to divide their own people and justify wars for natural resources on behalf of big corporations.

If ordinary people of the West actually come to view ordinary Arabs as ACTUALLY HUMAN like them, as having the same aspirations, the same values and many of the same struggles as them... well god help the Free World is all I can say.

And yet the mass movements in Tunisia and Egypt, by all accounts, are FUCKING SECULAR! Sure, the largest opposition party in Egypt is called the Muslim Brotherhood, which is a pretty good start you might think.

But, first of all, by all accounts they are not behind the mass protests and even abstained in the early stages. Also, it turns out they are actually pretty fucking moderate and EVEN RENOUNCED VIOLENCE back in the 1970s!

I mean for fuck’s sake, they weren't even terrorists in the 1970s??? I mean, who WASN’T a terrorist in the 1970s? It is like the old saying, if you never blew some shit up in the ’70s, you weren’t really there.

It is even worse in Tunisia, where the previously banned Islamic party Hizb an-Nahda came out and said they support women’s rights and do not support imposing Islamic law. They even formed a united front with secular democratic groups as part of pushing for democracy against attempts by remnants of the old regime to hijack the popular revolution.

I mean, fucking hell! What are the Arabs playing at now?

In Egypt, by all accounts, Muslims and Christians are marching together. And some of the sentiments are highly disturbing.

Watch the video below. Seriously, check out the protester at 0.45.





This guy has really let us down. And he seemed so promising! Dark skin and big beard? Check. Shouts really fucking angrily? Check.

Says "It doesn't matter if you are a Muslim, a Christian, or an Atheist! You will demand your goddamn rights! And we will have our rights, one way or another!"? FAIL!!!!

I know Meatloaf said two outta three aint bad, but what would that fat git know? In this case, two outta three aint even close to good enough.

And aren't all the women meant be all downtrodden and shit? Then WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THESE PICTURES?


Oh for fuck’s sake, you are supposed to be DOWNTRODDEN!

This disturbing portrayal of ordinary Arab people as inspiring, brave, secular, freedom loving democrats totally undermines ALL THE HARD WORK Israel and its supporters have done, as a legitimate means of self-defence, of presenting itself as a small besieged nation amid a sea of dangerous Muslim fundamentalist terrorists.

How can Israel possibly defend itself under such circumstances?

But the worst thing, what really grates, is not even that these ungrateful bastards want democracy.

I mean, fair enough, no one likes being tortured or suffering extreme poverty while their dictators, fat with Western “aid” and loans, get even fatter by stealing the nations wealth.

Fine.

But they are GOING ABOUT IT ALL WRONG!

This point was noted by hero of the free world and all round great guy Tony Blair.

(I believe the Egyptian people actually asked specifically for his opinion. There are widespread reports of people on the streets chanting “Mubarak out? Tell us Blair, please, what do you think?” and walls sprayed with the slogan “Tony where are you? We need your help!”)

In response to such calls, what Blair said, and quite rightly, is that it is perfectly legitimate for Egyptians to want democracy. Democracy, everyone but Israel totally agrees, is a lovely concept for Egypt.

But with the proviso, Blair added, that this move is “managed” properly so ensure a “proper democracy”.

I really shouldn't have to spell out what this means, but there has been so much confusion caused in the minds of ordinary people in the West who are usually fed a steady diet of racism and Islamophobia by this most uncalled for outbreak of popular uprisings that I fear I must.

It means, if they want democracy, the CORRECT procedure, as all freedom lovers know, is to FIRST OF ALL have your nation invaded by the United States and whichever other nations it can bribe and bully into tagging along.

THEN you get the invaders to install a puppet regime and privatise state-owned assets so multinationals can buy them up. All this should be enforced by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of foreign troops.

The foreign troops really have two key roles: to brutally repress any opposition to the occupation (including by bombing weddings and gunning down foreign journalists) and to foment a civil war by arming sectarian militias to stir up strife where there was never any before, thus justifying the presence of the foreign troops needed to prop up the puppet regime to hand the resources over to the US corporations.

And then, if the Egyptians or any of these countries no one can find on a map and have only just discovered even exist, are patient, in about a decade or so their countries will be just as free and as prosperous as Iraq and Afghanistan are today.

THAT, loyal fans, is how democracy comes to the dark, uncivilised, bearded Muslim parts of the world.

It most certainly does not come from a mass uprising of the oppressed, defying brutal repression, overturning regimes the Land of the Free has painstakingly propped up with billions of dollars of military aid each year.

We all know what will happen if a government comes into being in Egypt responsive to the popular will.

Extremism will reign, possibly even going SO FAR in its anti-Semitic designs as to actually get rid of the giant fucking wall on the border with Gaza that quite rightly stops the Palestinians getting medicines, building materials, coriander and chocolate for their evil, terroristic plots.

We live in strange and disturbing times.





Images of anti-Semites from across the Arab world threatening Israel with their mass, popular uprisings for an end to dictatorships that have killed and tortured them for decades. These disturbing pictures were posted on site of the fundamentalist terrorist lovers’ central, Al Jazeera.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Some good news for a change


Oktoberfest beer festival in Taybeh, occupied West Bank.


It can be hard to find good news is this god-forsaken hellhole of a world.

When I look in the papers these days, two things repeatedly send that shiver of horror and disgust up my spine: the latest Western-backed Israeli crimes against the dispossed Palestinian people and the latest crypto-prohibitionist assault on our right to drink to forget the world right here in this grand nation of ours.

But there is some good news amid the horror.

I like the October 5 Sydney Morning Herald story pasted below because it is about beer. And Carlo Sands likes beer.

I like it because the story of the Oktoberfest festival in the Palestinian West Bank town of Taybeh is about enjoying beer in the face of far greater odds than drinkers in this country could dream of.

And I like it because anywhere people defy the odds to get pissed is a victory against the anti-drinking elements everywhere.

And by "anti-drinking" elements, I don't mean those who don't drink. I mean those who seek to stop others drinking. Usually, such people drink themselves, the selfish fucking hypocrites.

In the story below, a Muslim Palestinian, who has never tried the beer, says she thinks "the festival is a good thing".

A large number of Muslims are like my friend Conehead - their poison is coloured green. Like Conehead, they do not judge others for the intoxicants they use to deal with this insane world.

The Israeli authorities, on the other hand, no doubt drink like fucking fish. But Israel has made it near impossible for Palestinians in the West Bank to enjoy some booze themselves.

The West Bank having been militarily occupied by Israel since 1967, its only brewery was only opened in 1995 thanks to the small easing of conditions Palestinians lived under as part of the Oslo Peace accords.

The article below details the difficulties the brewery faces trying to operate under Israeli occupation, with the free movement of goods and people denies, with endless militarty checkpoints and checkpoint closures, and the heavy costs bringing in needed goods from Israel.

And it is not just military occupation. More and more Palestinian land in the West Bank is being annexed for illegal Jewish settlers. All sorts of Jewish-only roads and other forms of infrastructure are taken up by the settlements.

Also, water is diverted to the settlements, making it scarcer for Palestinians. No doubt this is an extra impediment and cost to any Palestinian who may wish to brew beer in their own fucking country.

Despite these formidible obstacles, the article explains, such is the passion for letting Palestinians enjoy a few fucking beers that brewery owner Nadim Khoury works 16 hours a day to get the stuff out.

What a fucking hero. This is a good news story indeed.

It is inspiring. But there is a scary side worth considering: if they were to set this festival up on any of the 180 streets in places such as Kings Cross, Redfern, Surry Hills and Newtown that the authorities have now declared alcohol-free-zones, then the cops could seize the booze and fine those involved $2200 each.


The SHM article:

There was meat grilling on barbecues, children with painted faces, stalls selling crafts and cakes, a stage for live music and even the odd priest wandering about. Everywhere people were clutching glasses of beer in the afternoon sun.

Welcome to the annual beer festival in the West Bank, specifically the village of Taybeh, home to the only brewery in the Palestinian territories.

Around 10,000 people were expected to attend the weekend's Oktoberfest, which would have made it the biggest since the event began in the Christian-dominated village.

It is a mark of the festival's success that it was crammed with food stalls doing a lively trade to Palestinian families (both Muslim and Christian), diplomats, aid workers and tourists.






But it was the eponymous beer itself, briskly selling at 10 shekels ($2.80) for a half-litre glass, that was the star of the show.

Made without additives and using water from the spring of Ein Samia - ''delicious'' in Arabic - it was slipping easily down the throats of thirsty visitors.

Business, according to the brewery's owner, Nadim Khoury, is booming despite the obvious difficulties of operating in an overwhelmingly abstinent Muslim environment. The brewery faces ''many obstacles - religion, culture, occupation, closures'' plus a prohibition on advertising alcohol, Mr Khoury said.

''I'm on my feet 16 hours a day to promote the beer, going door-to-door, bar-to-bar, hotel-to-hotel. It's not easy in this part of the world.''

The firm started brewing beer in 1995 in the optimistic years after the Oslo accords. When the second intifada started in 2000, the brewery faced a crisis.

But output has since tripled to 600,000 litres a year and there are plans to expand. A non-alcoholic version of the beer for the Muslim market has made a good start, said Mr Khoury. He would like to see an end to the expensive ''back-to-back'' system of moving goods from the West Bank into Israel.

The beer has to be unloaded from Palestinian trucks at checkpoints and reloaded onto Israeli trucks, often involving long waits in high temperatures.

At the festival, two young women are listening to a Brazilian band. Nibal, 22, a Christian Palestinian, enjoys drinking Taybeh beer, but Samah, 24, a Muslim, has never tasted the village's famous product.

''But I think the festival is a good thing,'' she says.




Beer on offer. Half a litre costs about $2.80. Even in the West Bank under Israeli military occupation, despite the high costs and difficulties of importing goods, despite the scarcity of beer, it is still cheaper than under Australia's aclohol taxation regime.



On a Redfern street, these would be confiscated.



Israeli settlers are yet to take all the water. There is still enough for a few draught beers.



Looks like it tastes good. But, like, hang on! Aren't, like, Palestinians all, like, woman-oppressing Muslim extremists? Why is, like, a young woman drinking beer in public? We haven't been, like, fed bullshit propaganda have we? Surely not.



Life's greatest joy: sitting around drinking beer.



That guy has clearly enjoyed his Oktoberfest. Lucky he isn't on a Sydney street, lest he be arrested under the noticeably drunk laws introduced last year.


All in all a rare, badly needed good news story. And good news calls for a celebration. And that means its time to drink some booze.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

An outrageous slander involving Israel

I have been shocked by the events of last week and their aftermath.

I mean, holy shit. You know, holy shit. I mean shit, you know, that has *actually been* fucking *blessed* by someone holy. Whoever — Moses, Buddha, Tom Cruise, I mean whoever you consider holy, I am telling you, they have blessed this shit.

That is how holy this holy shit is.

Yes, I am talking about Israel and the events involving the Freedom Flotilla.

These events have been the cause of much mystification, lies and outright slander from all the usual suspects.

One of the most common allegations directed by bigots the world over is that Israel committed an "act of piracy".

Such hate-filled ignorance. What an outrageous, slanderous analogy. Pirates may be thieves, but they are not cold-blooded mass murderers.

Israel's actions were a crime against humanity and an act of war against Turkey at least. But what has it got to do with pirates?

There is no record of any pirate massacring 1400 people over a few weeks of sustained slaughter in a giant prison and then maintaining a crippling siege that condemns the lives of 1.5 million people to utter misery.

And then, when badly needed humanitarian aid comes in boats, boarding those boats heavily armed, using stun grenades, tear gas rubber and live bullets on the unarmed passengers, killing at least nine people and stealing the humanitarian aid to ensure 1.5 million people stay starving.

I mean, the sadism of Israel's siege takes on surreal proportions. You can view a partial list of banned and allowed items here.

The banned list includes A4-sized writing paper. Nothing is mentioned about A5 paper, so we can only assume Israel is confident A5 is too small to build paper planes big and strong enough to fly over the wall and cause significant destruction inside Israel.

Goats and chickens are banned — and it isn't hard to see why. Israel no doubts fears Hamas would not hesitate to sacrifice them in voodoo rituals to place evil curses on God’s Chosen People.

They have been kind enough to allow in fabric softner, so the ordinary Gazans don’t have to be subjected to the horror of starchy clothes. Also, toothpaste and shampoo are in.

You might think this shows some serious consideration for the importance of clear hair and teeth — until you realise there is a serious fucking water shortage. So the Gazans can stare at the shampoo, then stare at the sky and realise with growing horror they will have to put up with greasy hair until the next time it rains.

Coriander is banned, as is chocolate, ginger and cumin. However, Israel has been kind enough to allow in cinnamon, black pepper and seasame paste.

It is almost as if they chopped up all the words in a cooking book, dropped them in a hat and pulled them out one by one applying an alternating "in-out" ruling.

It may seem utterly irrational, but you can imagine a US spokesperson responding: “We are of course very concerned with the plight of the Gazans and hope the situation can improve in the near future, but we have to understand Israel’s legitimate security concerns.

“There are a small percentage of the world’s population that suffer an unfortunate allergy to coriander that can cause discomfort, including the break out of an itchy rash. If Hamas were to build a coriander-filled homemade rocket and fire it into Israel, there is a small chance an Israeli citizen with just such an allergy may accidently eat the rocket.

“It is a risk too great for Israel to run and we demand Hamas pledge to fully dismantle all coriander rockets before Israel can be expected to lift the siege.”

Israeli government spokespeople could chime in to condemn the anti-semetic plot to fire rockets filled with chocolates into Israel in the hope the unguided missiles land somewhere near a primary school, thus enticing Israeli children to eat so many of the sweets they become too fat and diabetic to defend themselves from the inevitable mass invasion.

That, dear reader, is Israel. On the other hand we have pirates.

Pirates, the old style pirates, the sort that go "Aaaarrrgggh, me hearties" and drink rum, have nothing in common with this sort of cruel, genocidal madness.

These pirates generally stole from the rich and were a thorn in the side of the powerful. They were often escaped slaves or others fleeing tyranny of one sort or another. They would often share their wealth and practice a sort of popular democracy on board.

And they drank lots and lots and lots of rum.

Pirates are cool. Everyone likes pirates. There is even a "Talk like a Pirate" day.

No one has yet proposed a "Talk like the Israeli government" day, where you go around stabbing people in the eye then saying "We condemn the spurting of blood from the eyeball onto our new shoes. We will not stand for such terror, the eyeball was funded by Iran.

“If it doesn't stop spurting there will be serious consequences."

People like to dress up as pirates. They like to go and watch pirate films starring Johnny Depp where he delivers witty one liners in a strange mongrel accent while staggering around wearing lots of eyeliner and swigging rum

And yet, at this moment, when pirates are subjected to an unprecedented torrent of hate and slander, these same people are silent! It is shameful.

Carlo Sands is not afraid to speak up! And I say to all who hear me: leave the fucking pirates alone!



Sources close to Captain Jack Sparrow say the pirate is “deeply disturbed” by the comparisons with Israel, whose crimes he “unconditionally condemns”. A spokesperson said in a statement: “Cpt. Sparrow wishes to emphasise that, in his line of work, you get your fair share of ‘scurvy dogs’, but that pirates have no tolerance for the rabid variety.”

This is not just a historical question.

Swedish crime novelist Henning Mankell who took part on the Freedom Flotilla, makes the following outrageous slander in his diary of the trip: “The Israelis have behaved like pirates, no better than those who operate off the coast of Somalia.”

I understand Mankell is furious and possibly traumatised by his experience. But that is no reason for this slander to go unanswered.

Actually, the Somali pirates are true descendants of the dispossessed that, hundreds of years earlier, took to the seas, flew the Jolly Roger and nicked what they could from the ships of the European empires.

They are a product of the disintegration of Somali society and a means of the local community both earning a living and defending their seas from pillaging. Like the pirates of past centuries, they steal from the rich.

Said Green Left Weekly: “Like the piracy of the ‘golden age’, contemporary Somali piracy is a response of the downtrodden to the devastating effects of globalising capitalism.

“Today's Somali pirates have been victims of the destruction of local fisheries by industrial fishing and the dumping of the first world's toxic and nuclear waste in Third World locations ...

“Like 18th century pirates, Somali pirates see themselves as fighting for justice. As Sugale Ali told the October 1 NYT: ‘We don't consider ourselves sea bandits. We consider sea bandits those who illegally fish in our seas and dump waste in our seas and carry weapons in our seas. We are simply patrolling our seas.’”



You can get your T-shirt here.


The obvious question is: what has any of this got to do with god damn Israel?

To those having trouble discerning the difference between the two, we can go back many centuries for a simple anecdote:

“In the ‘City of God,’ St. Augustine tells the story of a pirate captured by Alexander the Great. The Emperor angrily demanded of him, ‘How dare you molest the seas?’ To which the pirate replied, ‘How dare you molest the whole world? Because I do it with a small boat, I am called a pirate and a thief. You, with a great navy, molest the world and are called an emperor.’”

The powerful murder and steal because they think they can. The powerless do so as a last resort. To confuse the two is deeply unfair, so I hereby appeal to the world: stop blackening the noble art of piracy!




"Anarchy, the scourge of every sea! The anti-christ aboard a rig, with us your cuthroat thieves!" Pirates are cool and Israel isn't. End of fucking story.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The real threat to Israel

The threat facing the free world, the only democracy in the Middle East, as well as Essendon's chances in the 2009 AFL Premiership (I swear I heard that last one from Tsipi Livni and it sure struck a chord with me) is much greater than I had ever imagined.

The terrorists truly will stop at nothing.

I have always appreciated the pledge by the original proponents of creating the state of Israel: It would act as a "bulwark of Asia down there, we would be the advance post of civilisation against barbarism".

I mean, you can't trust an Arab, we all know that. No one, asides from freedom-hating, terrorist-loving Carlton supporters would dare argue otherwise.

However, after recent events I truly believe I can understand much deeper the essence of this statement. Those barbaric bastards.

I know that through this recent horrible war, when it seemed the missiles just would not stop flying erratically into Israel and causing rather annoying holes in the road, I have been unable to sleep out of fear for the safety of those who live on land that they have only controlled for a mere six decades.

The selfish previous occupants had thousands of years on the land. So miserly are they they refuse to accept Israel's involuntary time-share arrangement (they can have back in a millennium or two).

But I must admit I never stopped to consider the full horror of the situation.

How many of us have stopped to consider that in the south of Israel, the pets have also been under fire?

Yes, you may not believe such horrors could exist, but Ynetnews.com reports it straight:

"Last week a Qassam rocket hit a house in Sderot and killed the family's dog, which was at the building's yard during the attack. The dog was rushed to the veterinarian for treatment, but died due to severe shrapnel injuries and massive loss of blood.

"Following this incident and in light of the fact that like their human owners, pets in Israel's south are also under the constant rocket threat, the Agriculture Ministry has decided it would help pay for the medical care of dogs and cats injured by rocket fire from Gaza."

The terrorists are determined to kill Zionist dogs. And their pets.

And treatment for injured pets is a little hard on the hip pocket, as the article explains:

"'One of the main problems arising from the treatment of wounded animals is that the tax authorities do not consider pets as property, and therefore owners are not compensated for medical treatment of the animal,' said Dganit Ben-Dov, DVM, the Veterinary Services official in charge of enforcing the Animal Protection Law.

"'This is the aspect we wish to rectify, since treatment to a wounded animal could cost thousands of shekels,' she added."

Well I for one can think of no better way for the Israeli state to dedicate resources at a time like this than by paying for the vet fees of injured animals.

Some anti-Semites may raise the fact that, with Israel deliberately targeting Gazan civilians having already imposed a total siege that killed hundreds before bombs even started dropping, that this is truly sick and can only be interpreted as a racist assertion that the lives of a dog or cat are worth more than that of a Palestinian.

Well, what can you expect from Jew-hating anti-Semites?

They all love the Iranian mullahs and cheered on 9/11. They think Bin Laden is the modern-day Che Guevara. And sip their lattes in the inner-city. And drink chardonnay.

I mean chardonnay! Talk about barbarism. What, did the pubs all run out of VB?

Pets play a very special role in the life of Israelis living in the areas targeted by the terrorists.

A moving Ynews.com article entitled "The healing power of paws" reveals how "at risk" Israeli youth use pet dogs to calm their nerves in this terrible time.

"Dogs, known as man's best friend, have proven to be an assets to therapy. In Sderot, the adage takes on a deeper meaning for youths taking part in a special dog-training program designed to boost their self-esteem in light of the ongoing rocket fire."

The article doesn't state whether or not the low self-esteem is related to the fact that, on top of every other injustice these youth must face, they must also face outrageous allegations that the state that acts in their name is responsible for genocide against an entire people.

Thinking about this travesty, it does occur to me that here we have the outlines of a potential terrorist strategy by the uncivilised barbarians: go for the pets.

Such a strategy would have a two-fold effect.

1) It could very well bankrupt the Israeli state through escalating vet fees.

2) By removing the "healing power of paws", it would reduce Israeli youth to nervous wrecks, thus making a new generation incapable of upholding the principles of freedom and democracy by waging war on a fenced in, starved people by bombing their hospitals and refugee safe havens.

I can only hope this thought does not occur to the terrorists. The proud State of Israel could be brought to its knees in days.

One final point.

As we all know, there is a lot of anti-Israel bias in the media.

The media seems quick to point out that more than 1300 Palestinians have been killed by the latest Israeli bombing, including more than 400 children, while not giving appropriate space, which of course should be total, to the fact that this was purely a legitimate measure of self defence for all the pots holes the terrorists have put into a number of Israeli roads.

Do you know what this does to a car's suspension?

Thank christ, then, that Joe the Plumber, who made a decisive, game-turning intervention int the US presidential elections on the side of John McCain, agreed to travel as a correspondent to Israel, on behalf of US conservative website Pjtv.com to report on behalf of all the "average Joes" being threatened by Hamas.

In the comment section of the Ynet.com article , some anti-Semites had the gall to advocate that he would be better off, while in the region, spending his fixing the water and sewerage in Gaza destroyed by Israel!

Okay.

Now, am I really the only person in the world who strongly suspects that someone has spiked Israel's water supply with massive quantities of crystal meth? Thus making Israel totally irrational, severely paranoid and extremely violent?

If anyone has a more rational explanation, I for one would like to hear it.




Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert visibly suffering the effects from a prolonged crystal meth binge.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Eurovision, V.I. Lenin and the Balkans scam

It is that time of the year again. It is Eurovision.

The final is screened on SBS on Sunday. Time for the annual Eurovision Party.

It should be a time for celebration. Such a explosion of culture and talent from the best Europe has to offer!

And Israel.

People wonder why Israel is allowed in. One theory is to let the US have a shot at one of the art world's great prizes via a proxy.

Another, which I personally both subscribe to and defend, goes right to heart of the Great Zionist Dream.

It is simply this: The Jewish state of Israel acts as a "bulwark against Asia" and an “advanced post of civilisation against barbarism” .

It is only fair, therefore, that they should be able to participate in Eurovision, seeing as Israel is an "hournary European" nation, proven by its willingess to impose on those "barbarians" whom Israel is a "bulwark against" on behalf of "civilisation" a good ol' European style medieval siege.

We can only wish the honorary Europeans the best of luck in Eurovision, just as we wish them the best of luck in their attempts to deal with the problem of being surrounded by hoardes of ungrateful, barbaric, suicide-bombing, evil, anti-civilisation, pro-feudal, freedom-hating, irrational just plain nasty bad guys — sometimes called Palestinians.

Israel does need all the encouragement it can get in these difficult times.

The key problem it faces, one which threatens its very survival as an exclusively Jewish state, is that the Arabs just keep on breeding.

South Africa shows how difficult it is for a small minority to rule over a large majority. The problem isn't hard to see. Some of Israel's finest minds have explicitly raised it.

For instance, former Knesset member Yossi Sarid recently compared Israel to South African Apartheid, noting: “One essential difference remains between South Africa and Israel: There a small minority dominated a large majority, and here we have almost a tie."

"But", Yossi warned, "the tiebreaker is already darkening on the horizon…"

Sounding the alarm, Yossi argued bluntly that the "Zionist project will come to an end" unless something serious is done "before [Israel is] visited by a fatal demographic plague.”

Taking the threat of a plague of Palestinians very seriously, I have personally made a submission that is right now being debated in the Knesset (where I have a few friends and a certain influence, among particular circles).

My submission argues that there is a convergence of interests between the needs of Israel (re: the ever-breeding Palestinians) and much of the rest of the world.

We have hundreds of millions faced with the threat of hunger, all the while the very existence of the bulwark of democracy and civilisation in the heartland of barbarism is darkened by a coming a demographic plague!

The solution is simple.

Due to its general humanitarian principles and just plain "big heartedness", Israel will ensure that all adult Palestinians in the Occupied Palestinian Territories are looked after.

(The Occupied Territories are strangely misunderstood by some people as to mean "occupied" by the Israel, as opposed to the truth of the situation — which is that this land is in fact occupied by the Palestinians who are blocking the creation of a Greater Israel , as promised by God himself. Thankfully, in God's name, this land is being taken back one settler at a time, UN resolutions be damned.)

However, kindness only extends so far and Israel's generosity naturally has its limits.

At a time when food riots are rocking impoverished countries the world over, here is a chance to kill two birds with one stone.

The solution is obvious.

To both pay for the upkeep of the burdensome adult Palestinian population in the territories the Palestinians occupy, *and* so the poor masses in other countries may also be allowed ready access to meat, all new born Palestinian children should, at the age of one, be sold as food.

In this way the global food crisis may be alleviated and a final solution to Israel's problem of what to do with a few million interlopers in its God-granted lands may be achieved within a generation or two.

And, as an added bonus, it will end all these hopeless, pathetic attempts at "Peace Accords", therefore ending a large number of pointless airplane trips by all sorts of international bureaucrats.

This will, in one fell swoop, eradicate the carbon dioxide that would otherwise be emitted by such futile flights, thus helping combat the deadly threat of global warming.

A win-win-win solution.

Where was I?

The problem with Eurovision.

This gem of a show, which has added so much human development, is at risk of being turned into a farce, a mockery of a competition.

I am talking about the seemingly ever growing number of Balkan states and their insistence on all voting for each other at Eurovision.

In this disgracefully nepotistic way, last year's "contest" was "won" by Serbia.

What a travesty of justice.

What a crock of shit.

Everyone knows the prize belonged to the Ukraine.

It is just plain cheating. No one else has a fucking chance.

Oh sure, you say, other regions do it as well. Those Scandinavian types all vote for each other too.

Yes, but they aren't forming new countries every year for the apparent purpose of ensuring the Eurovision title stays in the regions hands.

This year, as well, a decisive step towards a new nation occurred in Kosova.

Plenty of commentators were very quick to allege that this whole Kosova thing is as a plot by US imperialism to divide Serbia, which misses the essential point. It is clearly a gambit aimed at securing for the region even more Eurovision votes.

This mutual rigging of what was once a proud competition occurs despite the fact that, until recently, these nationalities were busy all killing each other, which is the apparent reason they fucking formed separate countries to begin with.

It seems they unite for the important things.

Now, as anyone who knows me will tell you straight up, I am all in favour of the right of oppressed peoples to national self-determination, up to and including the right to separate and form a new, self-governed country.

But no right is absolute.

If you can't use the right to form your own nation-state responsibly, if you are just using it as a trick to win Eurovision, then maybe you don't deserve the right at all.

All I can say is V.I. Lenin, who did more than anyone to formulate a consistent and principled Marxist position on the question of national oppression and the right to self determination, must be rolling in his grave.

For shame! Carlo Sands does not approve.

None the less, I will be attending the Eurovision Party, as the host has promised Cuba Libres upon entry.