The way this year is shaping up, I am not sure there will actually anyone left alive soon — and with Trump in the White House, I am not just talking about the seemingly endless parade of musicians dropping off. Leonard Cohen is the latest at the decent age of 82.
And while Cohen's crimes included supporting the terrorist state of Israel and writing a song ("Hallelujah") that subjected humanity to an even greater amount of horrific cover versions by dodgy pub acts and buskers than even "Wonderwall", it has to be said "Everybody Knows", from 1998's I'm Your Man, is a disturbingly accurate song for our times...
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died
Everybody talking to their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
And a long-stem rose
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah, give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
And everybody knows that it's now or never
Everybody knows that it's me or you
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah, when you've done a line or two
Everybody knows the deal is rotten
Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton
For your ribbons and bows
And everybody knows
And everybody knows that the Plague is coming
Everybody knows that it's moving fast
Everybody knows that the naked man and woman
Are just a shining artifact of the past
Everybody knows the scene is dead
But there's gonna be a meter on your bed
That will disclose
What everybody knows
And everybody knows that you're in trouble
Everybody knows what you've been through
From the bloody cross on top of Calvary
To the beach of Malibu
Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Country music has always tended towards the sorrowful and downright depressing. The legendary Hank Williams, (the "granddaddy of 'em all" as it might, somewhat unfortunately, be put) is, after all, in the Guinness Book of Records for releasing the single greatest number of songs with the word "lonesome" in the title.
He is also in at least the top five for releasing songs with a title including the term "blues" — not uncommonly paired with "lonesome".
Sometimes the phrase "lovesick" is even thrown in for good effect.
Take, for example, this more or less standard Hank Williams number, entitled "Long Gone Lonesome Blues"
This is a song in which things are going so badly for the protagonist that he cannot even succeed in ending his agony via suicide.
While you need to hear Hank's trademark "yodel of pain" to fully appreciate the suffering implied by the song, the lyrics themselves give a taste.
It all starts innocently enough.
"I went down to the river to watch the fish swim by"
Perfectly natural, and sounds quite pleasant. What could possibly go wrong?
"But I got to the river so lonesome I wanted to die..., oh lord!"
Oh Jesus Christ indeed! How did that happen?
Talk about suffering a depressive episode. What is he, scared of fish? Then why did he go and watch them?
He must have known that would place him in a high-risk situation, in which the chances of suffering an attack of extreme anxiety would be quite heightened.
But it gets worse for our fishophobic depressive narrator.
"And then I jumped in the river, but the doggone river was dry."
When nothing goes right, nothing goes right. Not even suicide attempts to end the pain.
And the cause of all this?
"A man needs a woman that he can lean on"
Indeed, who could disagree? Assuming by woman you mean Johnny Depp.
"But my leanin' post is done left and gone"
Ah.
"Shes long gone, and now I'm lonesome blue"
No doubt.
Not one to be disheartened by a single failed attempt, Hank insists:
"I'm gonna find me a river, one thats cold as ice."
In case you have somehow missed the significance of the search, he adds:
"I'm goin down in it three times, but lord I'm only comin' up twice."
Since Hank's premature departure from the world of the living after he passed away in the backseat of a car after a difficult battle with alcohol and drug addiction (if only he gave some hint of that he was in trouble!), he has more or less provide a standardised template for the best of country music.
Pain, pain and more pain.
Mixed with a heavy lashing of heartache.
Nonetheless, no one has ever quite matched the utter despair put to three chords of Hank Williams with about the sole exception of the young and ridiculously angst-ridden Conor Oberst (best known for fronting Bright Eyes).
I give but two examples. "If Winter Ends", which contains the line "And I give myself three days to feel better, or else I swear I am driving off the fucking cliff".
The song does start quite innocently, as he pretends to be okay with the friendship status of the relationship he has with a former lover, only to build into a particularly extreme and disturbing expression of emotional pain.
At the height of this agonising, he sings/screams: "I'm pouring some whiskey, yeah I'm going to get so fucking drunk!"
Whatever the reason, I, of course, can not but approve.
Some fools grimace and label him absurdly self-pitying. I say Hank would be so fucking proud.
As to whether Oberst, already building a solid reputation as one fond of often extreme levels of alcohol abuse, intends to follow Williams through to that conclusion remains, at this point, unclear.
Now all of this is well and good, but I did actually have a point to this post. And now, somewhat belatedly, I seek to make it.
And it is simply this.
Country music is renowned for being depressing. However, at times it can be much, much more.
Sometimes, it can be down right frightening.
The song below depicts nothing less than a dystopian nightmare. One that speaks to the very heart of our deepest held fears.
It is one of the very few songs that sends a genuine chill right up my spine.
I am speaking of that truly terrifying horror-story-put-to music by ol' Merle Haggard, entitled "Tonight, The Bottle Let Me Down". (the best version, which for some reason has embedding disabled, can be found here)
"The one true friend I thought I had found ... tonight, the bottle, it let me down."
What a tale of treachery and betrayal. I tell you, if I ever find that bottle...
