Showing posts with label Sydney FC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sydney FC. Show all posts

Sunday, March 06, 2016

Think you're having the worst day ever? Here's some pictures of Graham Arnold to prove you wrong!



So you're having a bad day. Maybe your car broke down, you got fired, your spouse left you, you got evicted and the out-of-control oligarchic capitalist system is increasingly destroying the planet's very capacity to actually sustain human civilisation just so they can further stuff over-stuffed bank accounts with cash stained with the blood of the world's impoverished majority.

Yes, you've had better days. Fear not! Here are a bunch of super-cute photos of Sydney FC coach Graham Arnold looking like super furious, sad or frustrated! LOL! His day is much worse than yours, every day!

Poor Grah-Grah, nothing ever goes right! Not with those evil referees whose deliberate and sustained conspiracy against his team is so severe, sports journalists across the country have programs that just automatically insert "Graham Arnold angrily slammed the refereeing tonight... " into every article about every game in which his moneybags Bling FC team under-performs! Poor old Whinging Graham Arnold!



Oh no! The ref has given a free against his team just because it was a free!



When the ref gives one of your players a yellow card just because it was a blatant yellow that was lucky not to be a red!



Oh so that's a red just because it was, technically, to go by the so-called "rule book", a textbook red?



An opposition player not been given a red just because it wasn't a red card offence? Again?



''That player should be given a red because I say so!"



Having a bad dad day? Not as bad as this A-League coach whose team has somehow keeps conceding no matter how many defenders he starts! Oops!



"Where are the fans? Don't I coach a major team? Where the fuck are the fans?



"Oh shit ... there are the fans. Christ, just look at all those whitebread rich kids!" 



"I don't get it. We're rich. We're big. We're entitled."



"Where..."



"...did it..."



"...all go wrong?"



"I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling refs."


So just remember... no matter how bad your day is, at least you aren't Graham Arnold! Unless you are, in which case... fuck, dude, I'm sorry. The world is hurtling towards an eco-holocaust threatening the capacity of this planet to sustain human life and you're Graham Arnold. That's pretty rough.


Monday, March 02, 2015

The Daily Carlo: A terrible defeat for all humanity and some inspiring life advice!!!

As all dedicated readers of this site know (hi Dad!), I am now blogging every day!

Well... except yesterday. But I couldn't blog yesterday because I respect the Sabbath. And I was hungover. And grieving.

I was grieving, as all of humanity grieved, over the terrible victory by the forces of barbarism that took place the night before when the fucking Smurf pricks of Sydney "Bling" FC beat the Western Sydney Wanderers 4-3 in an epic match.

That final, terrible, score came after the Wanderers -- in a stunning display of proving we have finally figured out where the fucking goals are on a football pitch -- came back from 3-0 down after about 25 minutes to equalise early in the second half, only to finally go down even though the Enemy were reduced, in the final 10 minutes, to 10 men due to what can only objectively be called their Violent Cheating Ways.

Still, we won the flare count. Easily.



Wanderers striker Kerem Bulut celebrates his second goal and many flares in a tragic 4-3 loss to the Enemy of All Humanity on Saturday night.


Now, I have accumulated a lot of wisdom over my many years. I'm pretty wise. And so, I've come to the conclusion that if I am going to blog ever day, the best thing I could do -- my service to the world -- is to start providing some serious "life advice".

You know, inspiration quotes and all of that. Life hacks. Some of the little "lessons" I have learned on what I like to call, in a sickening display of saccharine self-indulgence masquerading as heartfelt sentiment, "my journey".

So here is my first piece of life advice:

To live a healthy and fulfilling life, the secret is to never, ever, under any circumstances, leave your bedroom or talk to another human being EVER!!! NEVER DO IT!!! 
TO BE HAPPY YOU MUST NEVER ENGAGE WITH THE WORLD AT ALL!!! NOT EVEN ONLINE!!! IN FACT, IF YOU ARE READING THIS YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED!!! YOUR LIFE IS A AN IRREDEEMABLE FAILURE!!! YOU HAVE LOST!!! YOU HAVE FAILED AS ALL BEFORE YOU AND ALL AFTER YOU WILL FAIL!!! YOU ARE NOTHING, HAVE NOTHING AND NEVER WILL BE ANYTHING!!! EVER!!! FUCK YOU, YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!!!

I am hoping someone out there is keen to make this into a t-shirt or, you know, one of those "inspiring" mugs people drink their herbal tea out of or whatever.

Not inspired enough? Here is a Tom Waits song to make my basic point, but put to music!





'Cause hell is boiling over
And heaven is full
We're chained to the world
And we all gotta pull
And we're all gonna be
Just dirt in the ground...

Inspired to buy me a beer? YOU CAN!!! Via the pay pal button on the right-hand side of this blog!!!