Monday, April 14, 2008

It gets worse...

Clearly my open letter to The Shannon Hotel has failed to have the desired effect.

Someone suggested nailing to the front door, Martin Luther-style. Something has to be done, because things go from bad to worse.

I walked in last Sunday evening, and — oh good god I wish to hell I was making this up — in front of the jukebox that usually seduces us with Kenny Rogers words of wisdom was... a fucking live jazz band.

Fucking middle class, white males in their mid-to-late twenties looking ridiculously smug and wearing fucking stupid hats.

Playing jazz.

In the Shannon.

Now, I know they are trying to go for a better class of customer, but seriously, hiring a jazz ensemble is degenerating into self-parody.

There they were on the stained green carpet — the bass player, keyboardist, bongo player and jazz drummer. Uttering inanities like: "It's great to see you all here, down at The Shannon!!!"

A sentiment most certainly not returned.

Then, and this is where it gets really horrible, they would proceed to actually play jazz.

Don't get me wrong. I am not against live music in the pub. The Shannon has something of a tradition of it.

However, it usually involves an acoustic guitar and lots of drunken shouting about whiskey in being in the goddam' jar and kissin' yer love by the factory wall. When that belle's down from Belfast City, that is.

Seriously, this is the first live music act in The Shannon's until now quite proud history to not offer up a version of Ordinary Man. I honestly don't think they even knew how to play it.

As that song exists on permanent jukebox rotation, there is little doubt in my mind that a thorough investigation into this incident (which, at the very least, is called for) would establish that the time from start to finish of the jazz ensemble was the single longest time period in The Shannon's history without Christy Moore's classic tale of working class suffering at the hands of Thatcher being played.

I just don't know what can be done. I am rapidly losing hope. If my plea remains unheard, I may have no choice but to consider escalating the campaign.

A threat to liberty anywhere is a threat to liberty everywhere, as Martin Luther King Jnr once said.

Let us also not forget that he also said: “Those who make a peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable”.

I have no wish to cause unnecessary trouble or any harm to innocent lives.

However, let this be noted — if the next time I walk into the once great Shannon Hotel, I find a motherfucking jazz ensemble between me and the jukebox, then I cannot be held responsible for the consequences.