Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Nothing to fucking see here

A profound analysis of recent events.

Nobody watched nothing talk about nothing while nothing gave answers about nothing and nobody replaced no one to give more nothing than ever before and nothing pledged nothing and no one waved and shouted about nothing in a bid to win nothing from nobody.

And nothing happened and nobody won.

But at least the nothing is 100% recyclable and, in this day and age, that, at least, is something.

In other news, Justin Bieber got hit in the head by a bottle.

"Ow? That didn't feel good." The Labor machine empathises with Justin Bieber.

If you really need more, I guess you could check out Green Left Weekly. or if you are really looking to get a serious in-depth persepctive, try this lovely set of charts from Townsville. Its graphic depiction of the hat question is particularly illuminating.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

More crucial election news: must see video

"Ooww? That didn't feel good."

Without doubt, the most exciting news so far in the Australian federal elections 2010, scheduled for August 21, was released this very morning.

Finally, previously suppressed footage from a concert featuring so-called singer and Devil Child Justin Bieber being attacked by a brave hero in the crowd has been made public. Ninemsn tells the story:

Video footage has emerged of tween pop star Justin Bieber being attacked with a water bottle onstage.

The 16-year-old "Baby" singer was performing at a concert for US radio station 107.9 The End in December last year when a concertgoer hurled the object at him.

"But yeah, I just wanted to see everybody because I love you guys," Bieber says, before the bottle hits him in the head.

The crowd can be heard gasping as Bieber turns his back and clutches his forehead.

"Ow, that didn't feel good," he says.

"I don't know why she just threw that at me."

Ok, now Justin (or should I call you by your correct title "Spawn of Satan Sent to Destroy All Culture and Enslave Us All"?), let me tell you something. You know when you got hit in the head? And when you said "ow?" you made it a question?

That type of thing helps explain why someone threw the projectile and they aimed straight for your head.

That and the fact you had a microphone in your hand and were clearly threatening to "sing". That was a dangerous provocation.

It is inspirational footage, but the feeling remains this video represents yet another missed opportunity in this election campaign. An empty vodka bottle would have been much more effective, especially if filled with petrol and a rag and then set alight.

Still, in this campaign, when the offerings are a mad monk in budgy smugglers or a faulty robot with multi-personalities who can only move forwards - both of whom being determined to destroy all life on Earth - you take what you can get.

From now until August 22, the best advice your faithful blogger can give you is turn off your TV whenever the news comes on and just watch this clip over and over again.

PS: Don't forget the google-ads just at the top of the page. Every time you click them, a Justin Beiber CD dies.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Have you heard there’s an election on?

If I can’t vote for killing Justin Bieber, it’s not my election. And they call this a democracy.

However, we all do still have some freedoms they are yet to strip away. We can unite and click the google ads at the top of this blog!

Oh, the rich and powerful don’t want you to, make no mistake about it. They would have you believe it is *impossible*, at the current hit rate, for Carlo Sands to actually ever *earn* the 150 bucks required for google to bother sending him a check any time before the coming climate apocalypse destroys the planet and, with it, the requirement for Google to send Carlo Sands a check.

That is because they are scared! Sure, the amount earned over a year or so so far has barely reached double figures, but remember what Ghandi said: first they laugh at you, then they fight you, then they give you a check for $150 bucks and you go out and get pissed!

Don’t let them fool you! Take a stand! Click the ads!

Dare to struggle, dare to click! If you don’t click you lose!