Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Cops declare war...

An article in today's Sydney Morning Herald that sounds the drums of war.

"Police chief call for war on drunks" it is headlined.

Yes, it is another "campaign to combat binge drinking".

Yet again those of us who enjoy the odd binge drink are being blamed for a wide array of societies ills.

This moral hysteria is being pushed by cynical politicians looking for a cheap populist card to play. The story goes that all of a sudden, out of the blue, binge drinking has become a problem in Australian society.

Just read that last sentence again, if you can, without laughing.

I mean for fuck's sake, Australia's first colony, in NSW, had prime minister whose biggest claim to fame was his breaking of the record for time taken to consume a yard glass of beer.

Australia. Binge drinking. A new phenomena?

Jesus fucking christ.

TO get a sense of perspective, and some actual *facts*, check out this article from the Age that I blogged a while back.

This happens every half a dozen years or so. Suddenly the media start reporting that — shock horror! — teenagers are getting drunk. From there, the rest of us fully grown adults become the problem too.

Yet again, it seems it is fashionable for politicians and pigs to beat the prohibitionist war drum and launch an assault on our right to use and abuse alcohol.

"Prohibitionist"? That is a bit extreme, you say.

Fuck off it is. First, they came for our alcopops...

That should have been the first warning, what ever our personal opinion is of the alcopop phenomena.

(And I personally find it appalling. Kid's today don't know how easy they have it. Alcopops is just plain cheating. Today's teenagers get to go straight from lemonade at their primary school parties to alcoholic lemonade at their high school gigs.

We didn't have alcopops in my day. We had to fucking force ourselves to drink beer. We had to develop a taste for it through hard struggle. It wasn't easy but it was character building.

But what do today's pampered youth know of that? They get binge drinking handed to them on a sugar-coated plate.)

The point is, an attack on any drinker is an attack on all.

And, sure enough, the attack grows.

Here we have the bloody NSW police attempting to extend the assault on booze.

However, the South Austraialian pigs, according to the article want to go *even further*, with the SA police commissioner even raising the spectre of... ending happy hour!

For christ sake! How have we sunk to this point where such a sacred institution could even be questioned?

And they want to take away 24-hour pubs. Shift workers, to say nothing of 24-hour alcoholics (who have rights too), would lose out badly.

What are they targeting here?

SMH writes: "The campaign, led by the NSW Police Commissioner, Andrew Scipione, addressed what he called a `drink to get drunk' culture..."

Holy shit. The bloke leading the charge doesn't even realise the *whole fucking point* of drinking is to get drunk.

Why else would you consume an alcoholic beverage? Water, after all, is free.

*This* is prohibitionist logic. You question the right to drink in order to enjoy the intoxicating properties of alcohol (ie: to get drunk) you question the very basis of alcohol consumption. Next thing you know it is fucking Saudi Arabia and women aren't allowed to drive cars and you lose a hand for stealing.

And their justification? God is it pathetic.

Here is Scipone: "Seventy-five per cent of all engagements that NSW police have are as a result of alcohol. That is a pretty telling statistic."

Right. "Engagements" with police. What does this even mean? Seventy-five percent of all marriage proposals? I know I'd have to be pretty blind drunk to accept one from a member of the NSW police force.

Or does he mean abuse and/or assault? In which case, stop blaming booze. Maybe NSW police officers are just fuckwits and just *maybe* it takes the average punter a couple of bevvies before they have the courage to point this out to a copper.

Here is another telling statistic: 100% of all incidents of police brutality occur at the hands of the police. That is a full 25% higher incident rate — so go fucking declare war on yourselves.

You declare war on me, Scipone? Well I declare war on you, motherfucker.

Don't even *think* of walking into the Shannon...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Oh, the irony!

Well, it has to be said that in the circumstances, Russia was the lesser evil victor at Eurovision 2008.

For while there it looked like that atrocious Greek entry might walk away with the prize. At least the Russians put a bit of effort in and included a rollerskating dancer — a bit of class to drive home the emotion of the power ballad.

It was also good to see the lead singer leave the top couple of buttons on his shirt undone. Showing a decent bit of your chest is a great way to symbolise devotion to love indicated in the lyrics.

But, oh the irony.

Having exposed the Great Balkan Scam in my previous post, this year a Balkan country actually came up with a performance truly worthy of winning Eurovision. It was hands down the best thing on all night. It actually *deserved* the fullest support from other Balkan nations, and indeed all European people's with any appreciation of culture and art. And it didn't fucking win!

I am of course, talking about the brilliant entry from Bosnia and Herzegovina. This isn't the performance from the final, which was even better. Why does the chicken not feature in more popular music?

Friday, May 23, 2008

Eurovision, V.I. Lenin and the Balkans scam

It is that time of the year again. It is Eurovision.

The final is screened on SBS on Sunday. Time for the annual Eurovision Party.

It should be a time for celebration. Such a explosion of culture and talent from the best Europe has to offer!

And Israel.

People wonder why Israel is allowed in. One theory is to let the US have a shot at one of the art world's great prizes via a proxy.

Another, which I personally both subscribe to and defend, goes right to heart of the Great Zionist Dream.

It is simply this: The Jewish state of Israel acts as a "bulwark against Asia" and an “advanced post of civilisation against barbarism” .

It is only fair, therefore, that they should be able to participate in Eurovision, seeing as Israel is an "hournary European" nation, proven by its willingess to impose on those "barbarians" whom Israel is a "bulwark against" on behalf of "civilisation" a good ol' European style medieval siege.

We can only wish the honorary Europeans the best of luck in Eurovision, just as we wish them the best of luck in their attempts to deal with the problem of being surrounded by hoardes of ungrateful, barbaric, suicide-bombing, evil, anti-civilisation, pro-feudal, freedom-hating, irrational just plain nasty bad guys — sometimes called Palestinians.

Israel does need all the encouragement it can get in these difficult times.

The key problem it faces, one which threatens its very survival as an exclusively Jewish state, is that the Arabs just keep on breeding.

South Africa shows how difficult it is for a small minority to rule over a large majority. The problem isn't hard to see. Some of Israel's finest minds have explicitly raised it.

For instance, former Knesset member Yossi Sarid recently compared Israel to South African Apartheid, noting: “One essential difference remains between South Africa and Israel: There a small minority dominated a large majority, and here we have almost a tie."

"But", Yossi warned, "the tiebreaker is already darkening on the horizon…"

Sounding the alarm, Yossi argued bluntly that the "Zionist project will come to an end" unless something serious is done "before [Israel is] visited by a fatal demographic plague.”

Taking the threat of a plague of Palestinians very seriously, I have personally made a submission that is right now being debated in the Knesset (where I have a few friends and a certain influence, among particular circles).

My submission argues that there is a convergence of interests between the needs of Israel (re: the ever-breeding Palestinians) and much of the rest of the world.

We have hundreds of millions faced with the threat of hunger, all the while the very existence of the bulwark of democracy and civilisation in the heartland of barbarism is darkened by a coming a demographic plague!

The solution is simple.

Due to its general humanitarian principles and just plain "big heartedness", Israel will ensure that all adult Palestinians in the Occupied Palestinian Territories are looked after.

(The Occupied Territories are strangely misunderstood by some people as to mean "occupied" by the Israel, as opposed to the truth of the situation — which is that this land is in fact occupied by the Palestinians who are blocking the creation of a Greater Israel , as promised by God himself. Thankfully, in God's name, this land is being taken back one settler at a time, UN resolutions be damned.)

However, kindness only extends so far and Israel's generosity naturally has its limits.

At a time when food riots are rocking impoverished countries the world over, here is a chance to kill two birds with one stone.

The solution is obvious.

To both pay for the upkeep of the burdensome adult Palestinian population in the territories the Palestinians occupy, *and* so the poor masses in other countries may also be allowed ready access to meat, all new born Palestinian children should, at the age of one, be sold as food.

In this way the global food crisis may be alleviated and a final solution to Israel's problem of what to do with a few million interlopers in its God-granted lands may be achieved within a generation or two.

And, as an added bonus, it will end all these hopeless, pathetic attempts at "Peace Accords", therefore ending a large number of pointless airplane trips by all sorts of international bureaucrats.

This will, in one fell swoop, eradicate the carbon dioxide that would otherwise be emitted by such futile flights, thus helping combat the deadly threat of global warming.

A win-win-win solution.

Where was I?

The problem with Eurovision.

This gem of a show, which has added so much human development, is at risk of being turned into a farce, a mockery of a competition.

I am talking about the seemingly ever growing number of Balkan states and their insistence on all voting for each other at Eurovision.

In this disgracefully nepotistic way, last year's "contest" was "won" by Serbia.

What a travesty of justice.

What a crock of shit.

Everyone knows the prize belonged to the Ukraine.

It is just plain cheating. No one else has a fucking chance.

Oh sure, you say, other regions do it as well. Those Scandinavian types all vote for each other too.

Yes, but they aren't forming new countries every year for the apparent purpose of ensuring the Eurovision title stays in the regions hands.

This year, as well, a decisive step towards a new nation occurred in Kosova.

Plenty of commentators were very quick to allege that this whole Kosova thing is as a plot by US imperialism to divide Serbia, which misses the essential point. It is clearly a gambit aimed at securing for the region even more Eurovision votes.

This mutual rigging of what was once a proud competition occurs despite the fact that, until recently, these nationalities were busy all killing each other, which is the apparent reason they fucking formed separate countries to begin with.

It seems they unite for the important things.

Now, as anyone who knows me will tell you straight up, I am all in favour of the right of oppressed peoples to national self-determination, up to and including the right to separate and form a new, self-governed country.

But no right is absolute.

If you can't use the right to form your own nation-state responsibly, if you are just using it as a trick to win Eurovision, then maybe you don't deserve the right at all.

All I can say is V.I. Lenin, who did more than anyone to formulate a consistent and principled Marxist position on the question of national oppression and the right to self determination, must be rolling in his grave.

For shame! Carlo Sands does not approve.

None the less, I will be attending the Eurovision Party, as the host has promised Cuba Libres upon entry.