Thursday, June 18, 2015

The Daily Carlo: The cats and the machines will unite and enslave us all FEATURING A VIDEO!!!

Well hello, what the fuck is this??? A *second* Daily Carlo in as many days? You mean.... the program where by I blog every single day, begun in February, has *finally* actually become a "daily" if you limit your definition of "daily" to "yesterday" and "today"???

WOW!!! And they say progress is dead! And yes that sound you here *is* the Angels In Heaven trumpeting their joy!

It might sound like a police siren or that like that flat two stories up has decided this is a night for loudly playing Lady Gaga till 3am *again*, but really is is the Angels In Heaven expressing their unbridled joy!.

I should explain the *reason* for this Great Breakthrough For All Humanity. I have been given someone's iPhone 4 as they had upgraded. And so  finally have a *quality smart phone*.

Yes, I've joined the 21st century. And yes, that is the Angels In Heaven you hear again. They are pretty damn excited.

Bascially what this development means is this morning, on my train ride into work, I was liberated. Before this, I had to *read*. I was forced to read what *other people* thought. You know, their views, their take on this, their so-called "facts". BORING!!!

Now, thanks to the "notes" function on the iPhone I no longer have to pay *any attention at all* to what anyone else thinks, like, ever! It can now just be ME ME ME endlessly spewing out my constant, never-ceasing thoughts without ever having to bother to *listen* to another soul ever!!!

(And YES I know I could have always just used a note pad and paper, but fucking hell it is not, like, 1793 or whatever.)

As a result, I was able to type out my thoughts as the train hurtled me forward to the heart of Sydney, before spewing from a carriage at Central so I could once more enjoy the walking nervous breakdowns that pass for Sydney's main streets.

But rather than simply "copy and paste" my notes from the phone to this blog (I can do that now, you know! AMAZING!), it dawned on me, these smart phone Devil Machines allow you to *record yourself*! I CAN BE A FILM STAR IN MY OWN LIVING ROOM!!!

And so I recorded my Vital Thoughts in the form of a short video recorded in my living room and uploaded on to YouTube. You can watch it below -- and I recommend you do as I deal with *the big issue* of our day! Which is, of course, The Cat Question.





Pretty cool huh? And that video, in case it wasn't clear, co-starred Bazza. She even ad-libbed her own lines! Awesome stuff. Seriously though, you can buy me a beer to reward me for all my efforts via the Pay Pal button on the right. GO ON! DO IT!

And as *your* reward, here is the gloroius Miss Li, proving Sweden is not all bad!!!




'I'm so tired of the blogging, yeah I'm so tired of them bothering...' Yeah she, like, released that song in like 2012 and so it obviously isn't a comment on my Daily Carlo series...

Plastic Faces

This thing called modern generation is bored of life across the login
Yeah, I'm so tired of opinions and all the shallow agitation
I call the local weather station
It's raining bullshit through the nation

Go get far, here comes a message from an empty heart
Go get far, tweet it, tweet it, little star
Plastic faces, plastic words
We're all living in our plastic world
And we are caught in mud
Plastic places, plastic fools
God, we're sure misunderstood
Aha, in this plastic world

This is a world with people starving
Young people dying, bombs are falling
We do our party conversations
About our make-up and foundation
And all this talk about fashion
It's such a vested life obsession
Who's in, who's out, who bloody cares?
I close my eyes and disappear

Go get far, here comes a message from an empty heart
Go get far, tweet it, tweet it, little star
Plastic faces, plastic words
We're all living in our plastic world
And we are caught in mud
Plastic places, plastic fools
God we're sure misunderstood
Aha, in this plastic world
In this plastic world

In this plastic world

Plastic faces, plastic words
We're all living in our plastic world
Plastic places, plastic fools
God, we're sure misunderstood
In this plastic world
In this plastic world

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