Our Times

 

As everyone in 2006 knows, the secret to a successful online blog is frequent content. That is why I sometimes post as many as one or sometimes two posts in any given year. Considerations like consistency on matters of style, content or quality just don't matter. Just pump it all out in a hodgepodge fashion to a widly inconsistent timetable and you too can replicate my huge success as a blogger.

So I will post something I wrote recently simply to make my self write. It took me as long to to write it as it took to type it,but less time to think about it. It is a work of genius.

OUR TIMES: AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE MALAISE OF SUBURBIA IN THE ERA OF SMART TECHNOLOGY. A PLAY IN ONE ACT (IF BY ACT YOU MEAN VERY BRIEF SCENE).


SAMMY: (looking out the back door furtively): Huh.

FRANKIE: (inside) What are you doing?

SAMMY: The neighbours.

FRANKIE: What now?

SAMMY: One of them, I swear to God, is recording a TikTok.

FRANKIE: (sigh): This again.

SAMMY: They are! I can tell!

FRANKIE: How do you know?

SAMMY: Because someone always is! Somewhere there is always SOMEONE recording a TikTok! And someone, I am CERTAIN of it, is recording a TikTok ON THIS STREET!

FRANKIE: What does it matter? What is your problem with TikTok?

SAMMY: It makes me nervous.

FRANKIE: That’s it?

SAMMY: Yeah!

FRANKIE: Jesus christ, I thought maybe you had a geopolitical objection based on the role of the Chinese state in the company and the collection of data and I was GOING to point out that was a ridiculous and hypocritical thing to object to, seeing as all these multinational social media giants farm our data on a mass scale for profit, there is no space safe from the wholesale collection of our entire online identities and activities by these evil monstrosities that get us hooked on and entangled with their product then turn it against us with the force of a New York cop on a Jewish student who opposes Israeli genocide!

[Long pause]

SAMMY: GREAT! Now I’m terrified of EVERYTHING on my phone! (walks back inside) What should we have for dinner?

FRANKIE: I’ll check Uber Eats…

SAMMY: (lunging for the phone) NO!!!!!! (chucks the phone on the ground and starts stomping it) OK … now we’re safe. What were you thinking???

FRANKIE: (Immediately produces another phone) Luckily I have plenty of spares. I was thinking pho. (Starts to order).

SAMMY: (suspiciously): You haven’t been recording TikToks with these phones have you?

FRANKIE: Sammy, this whole thing is a TikTok! Smile (points to the corner where a phone is taped near the top of the wall) you are on camera!

SAMMY: (laughs) Oh Frankie, you and your tricks! (waves to the camera) That’s a good one, I hope it goes viral. (sticks head back out the back door). They are up to SOMETHING though.

THE END

"Kid's these days, don't leave the house now' This is a random song I've been listening too.