Well I am sure with all that is going on in the world, the greatest issue all humanity faces is whether we are indeed in the midst of yet another vibe shift. This crucial issue of whether trends in popular culture were changing was bravely broached in a much-discussed New York magazine's The Cut, where the question was bluntly posted: will any of us survive the vibe shift?
Mysteriously in this regard, I have received, out of the blue, a new "Carlo and Leslie Dialogue" transcription from sources unknown that confronts these very questions. I don't know who sent or why, but obviously the world remembers vividly the first round of "dialogues" drawn from my ASIO files that I posted in 2015. Or possible the widely-lauded autobiographical account I published, The Tale of the Rollerskating Archaeologists. Could it be the CIA or Russian intelligence seeking to make an as-yet- unclear point?
I do not know. But there must be a reason so I provide it below. Shockingly, it's in a pub.
(10.08am. Carlo is at a table alone in an empty pub with a pint and a whisky in front of him, looking quietly furious about something. Leslie walks up with a pint.)
CARLO: (surprised) WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
LESLIE: (sitting down) Just recovered from the plague.
CARLO: AGAIN?!? How many plagues can one man get? (Looks closer) Where are your buboes?
LESLIE: Not that plague. I haven't caught that one for centuries. I mean the latest one.
(Carlo looks blank)
LESLIE: You know, Covid.
(Carlo looks blank)
LESLIE: The pandemic that's been wreaking havok over the world for the past two years?
(Carlo looks blank)
LESLIE: The one that closed the pubs for extended periods.
CARLO: Oh is THAT what that was? I thought I was stuck in a recurring nightmare where each day I'd stumble to the pub only to find it shut and have to stumble back home. I thought maybe I was being punished by the Gods for cheating death again and was condemned to push my alcohol withdrawal-ravaged body up the hill only to go straight back down again every time. Like that other time with the rock.
LESLIE: No it was a public health measure. Though you could say that about anything that denies you entry to a licensed establishment. (Looks at Carlo) What are you so furious about anyway?
CARLO: (slams fist on table) THE FUCKING VIBE SHIFT!
LESLIE: Another one?
CARLO: Some hack journalist at the New York magazine wrote some piece about how they didn't realise a vibe shift was coming and they're terrified they won't survive and WHY THE FUCK DO THEY NEVER ASK ME ABOUT VIBE SHIFTS?
LESLIE: You have definitely survived quite a few.
CARLO: I can help! If only people would listen!
LESLIE: Reminds me of that time in mid-17th century England when you tried to warn King Charles I about the coming vibe shift.
CARLO: Exactly! He just told me to spend less time on Instagram obsessing about the latest fad in close cut hairstyles. No wonder he didn't survive!
LESLIE: He came round on the hair cuts in the end tho.
CARLO: Oh sure, as he was being led to the scaffolds he looked around and "You were right Carlo, just check out these roundhead styles, they're everywhere now". It was all too late!
LESLIE: Still you have to admit he had a point with his final words predicting the whole long curly hair look would be restored before long.
CARLO: I TOLD HIM THAT! WHY DO I NEVER GET ANY CREDIT?
LESLIE: Still I'm not sure anyone will survive this latest vibe shift. It's got a very "armaggedon" vibe.
CARLO: I SAID THAT! THE COMING VIBE IS TOTALLY ARMAGGEDON! DRESS FOR THE END TIMES! I'VE TOLD ANYONE WHO'LL LISTEN!
LESLIE: Yeah but that's me, and only because of that ancient curse I've never been able to get lifted, and the bar tender who just pretends to listen while begging you to pay your tab.
CARLO: Speaking of which, the bastard's cut me off again! (Points at his empty glasses). Your round.
LESLIE: There's a vibe that hasn't shifted for millenia.
CARLO: GET ME A FUCKING DRINK!
LESLIE: (sighing as he gets up) I really wish there were some sort of public advice on how to lift a druid's curse. But no, it's all "wear a mask" and "try not to die in the latest extreme weather event".
(heads off to the bar)
CARLO: (yelling after him) PINT WITH A DOUBLE WHISKEY! (to himself) Plague-ridden cad.
Other less crucial matters:
Global anti-war day of action
Student Strike for Climate March 25