Judging Joe Daniher.
There is a lot going on in the world, but some things never change. Such as the sheer frustration of watching Essendon's star forward Joe Daniher kick for goal.
It was something that had been missing from Essendon fan's game-watching experience for a long time. On August 27, against the Eternal Enemy of Humanity that is Hawthorn, Daniher took to the field in the Bombers geurnsey for the first time in 467 days. It wasn't clear this day would ever come, not just because of recurring injuries, but reports Daniher wanted to leave for the Sydney Swans,
Yet there he was, showing Bombers fans just why they love to see Daniher in the red and black -- taking huge marks and kicking big-goals to spur Essendon to an historic second half come back so brilliant you could FEEL Jeff Kennett's head exploding through the psychic waves of the universe. It was glorious.
Then, just days later, against the West Coast Eagles, Daniher showed why it is so fruastrating to see Daniher in the red and black. He took big grabs, create a target all day, and utterly shanked every shot he had on goal in an inept display you'd be embarrased to see in a six-year-old as Essendon lost the game by failing to turn onfield dominance into scoreboard pressure (as the experts say).
Well, one Essendon fan had had enough! After what felt like Daniher's 20th miss (it was actually just his third) NC/DC (short for "Night Cat/Day Cat"), looked up at me from the couch and said clearly:
"I am not watching any more of this match."
"Why?" I asked, pointing out there was still enough time on the clock for the Bombers to chase down the Eagles lead should we finally start converting a few chances.
"WHY?" was the dismissive response.
"Because Joe Daniher just missed AGAIN! BORING!!!"
"Oh look at me," he said, starting a mocking impersonation of the key forward. "I'm Joe Daniher on the lead!"
"Oh look I just a spectacular grab! What a brilliant mark I just took!"
"But now I have to go back and take the kick. On no, I'm all a-tangle!"
'Oh look at that, I missed again!'
"That's why I've stopped watching YOU IDIOT! We can't win with goal kicking like that."
And with that, looking smug at having summed the game up, NC/DC promptly took a nap.
By doing so, NC/DC saved himself the pain of watching what remained of that frustrating game.
And now, in just one hour, Essendon are going to play again, taking on Geelong. Let all Essendon players know that NC/DC will be watching. DO NOT FAIL THE CAT AGAIN!