Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Wh*t the fuck is wr*ng w*th the w*rld?

There is something that has been fucking bugging me for some time.

It is something I simply cannot understand. I try and come up blank.

It is the sort of thing that is so utterly pointless, so petty in its stupidity and just so completely, mindblowingly bizarre that I feel despair.

I am talking about the insistence of so many otherwise seemingly intelligent people in refusing to fucking spell swearwords properly.

Here is a memo from Carlo Sands: “F*ck” fools no one.

Everyone knows what this word is, what it means and, above all, how the fucking thing is supposed to be spelled!

Excluding the “u” does not achieve one thing. It is just “bullsh*t” – which is another example of how to prove you are a fool.

Swearwords, of course, have a long history of being censored in the mainstream media. It will get beeped-out on the telly or dashed-out in the press.

Let’s be clear: the reasons are the insanity and total hypocrisy of bourgeois morality.

You can build obscene wealth on the back of the most extreme exploitation, you can rape and pillage, you can carry out genocidal wars ... but you cannot publicly utter certain words in common usage throughout society.

This attitude originated through the approach to a society’s dominant religion. The dominant religion was used to prop up and justify the dominant economic and power structures. As such, it had to be treated with respect and be above criticism and mockery.

In otherwords, blasphemy must not be allowed.

Therefore, there were always certain words and phrases that, however much they may be used by people day-in and day-out, the official stance of respectable society was that these collection of letters forming certain words cannot be uttered in a public sphere.

What was traditionally considered blasphemy in our society is, these days, no longer considered so offensive. But the basic attitude persists (because bad attitudes have a way of hanging around) applied to a series of other words that, when thought about logically, are not inherently better or worse than any others.

And so our newspapers are still full of f---s, even though every single person reading the article knows what the missing letters are and society doesn’t come tumbling down because of that fact.

This may be one of the most pointless gestures ever, but neither does it surprise me. There is little that is sane, reasonably or consistent about “official” morality.

The corporate media will happily quote a government spokesperson making the most offensive statements supporting for some genocidal war, or advocating a policy that guarantees total eco-destruction, but will deny you or me the airspace to say “Get fucked, shitface” in response.

It’s madness.

But what I want to know is, what is the fucking deal with all these otherwise perfectly reasonable people I see in places like Facebook who, in the groups they set up and in status messages they post, *insist* on aping this petty little example of official hypocrisy.?

I offer one example: the otherwise worthy Facebook group WHERE THE F*CK IS MY ... found it.

This group speaks to me and I relate to every aspect of it except its strange relationship to the English language.

It is spelled FUCK!

Believe me, you can say “fuck” and “shit” to your heart’s content on Facebook with no problems whatsoever.

But for some reason a bunch of otherwise sane people have gone and internalised this surreal approach to the human language whereby you have to hide certain letters in certain words to appease some bizarre sense of propriety.

I mean, what do people think, God is sitting up there on the verge of throwing down a lightning bolt but stops and says “Oh, its alright, they’ve blacked out a letter or two”?

Of course, some people just don’t like the word. They think it unnecessarily crude and many say it is overused.

Fine. No one is forced to say “fuck”.

But if you don’t like a word, you don’t fucking use it. Those offended by the word cannot be appeased by pretending you have forgotten a vowel.

Most of all, it deeply unfair to some perfectly innocent letters.

The letter “u” is not offensive. It is not dangerous. It doesn’t deserve to be censured.

There is no “u” in “war”. Or in “racism”.

Or in Bono.

“U” is being unfairly maligned.

But it seems some of a particularly puritan bent also have a problem with the letter “c”, and thus spell “fuck” as “f—k”.

Again, most unfair.

There is no “c” in Kyle Sandilands. True, there *is* two in Nickleback, but that’s hardly the most offensive thing about that band: that would be every fucking thing they have ever recorded.

Some real ultra-moralists cannot even stand to see the letter “k” and so insist on typing “f---“, or referring in a whisper to “the ‘f’ word”.

Well, I don't know who decreed “f” a respectable letter, but I say “u”, “c” and “k” are equally fine.

It may be pointed out there are still others that go further give us [EXPLETIVE DELETED] or the ever-popular #&@!

I actually prefer this approach, because at least has the charm of leaving it to your imagination.

It inspires creativity as you get to guess the words used that were so offensive not a single letter could be shown in public. Each reader can invent their own sentences.

For instance: “The [expletive deleted] with the [expletive deleted] inserted it in the [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] to [expletive deleted] the [expletive deleted] who was apparently a dentist, but I said [expletive deleted] with [expletive deleted] to [expletive deleted] your own [expletive deleted] mother!”

There is nothing to inspire the imagination about seeing “F*ck”. It is just infuriating in its stupidity.

Nothing bad will happen to you, you won’t get arrested, JUST FUCKING SAY FUCK IF YOU FUCKING WANT TO SAY FUCK!

“Fuck ‘what I did was your fault somehow’. Fuck all the presents, I threw all that shit out. Fuck all the crying, it didn’t mean jack. Well guess what yo, FUCK YOU RIGHT BACK”. Nothing bad happened to Frankee when she responded to some arsehole in this way, she just felt a hell of a lot better about the world.


  1. F*ck

    The letter “u” is not offensive.

    There is no “u” in “war”. Or in “racism”.

    Or in Bono.

    should carlo sands ever branch out into sandsian cyber-merchandise, i am of the opinion that this would present itself as a very wearable t-shirt.

  2. Well, when I eventually earn enough cash from the google ads thgat the fuckers have op pay me, I inted to invest it all in a merchandise operation from which I shall gather enough capital to take over the entire world.

  3. ☻/ ღ˚ •。* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛° 。* °♥ ˚ • ★ *˚ .ღ 。
    ▌ *˛˚ღ •...just sprinkling a little Love on your blog..... ˚✰*
    / \ ˚. ★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚ ˚ღ。* ˛˚ ♥ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ ˚ 。✰ •* ˚ ♥" .

  4. An English teacher at the Public Service training I attended to be able to aommunicate properly with gov ministers explained some things to me I had never haerd before. The Romans then the French took control of Anglo England in the early centuries AD. English became a mix of Latin, French and Anglo. Simple words like "pig", "Shit" and "fuck" were replaces with French words like "pork" etc. The suck ups who wanted a place in the court/nobility learned French as part of their education (visiting contiental Europe). Your ability to speak well was then and is now a sign of social ascendancy. "Fuck" means to rape. It gets attention when you have nothing else to throw at someone. It can be anywhere from threateneing to petulant. As such people moderate how they intend it with spelling and context so as not to cause offence in the written form (where body language and tone are absent, which leaves the bare words which only constitute 10% of human communication). I personally prefer the Irish "fark" or Scottish "fek", as it reminds me of my grandfather. BTW the middle class have a code in the public service, should you ever need to communicate with those who write the laws of the land (or the "privileged" meaning in Latin "private law") ... if you put the apostrophe in it's (it is) or its' possessive or you say "haytch" instead of "atch" you are poor Irish scum. If this all sounds a bit too acedmic for you please enjoy this lovely track from the 1990's which surmises the lexicon quite well ... http://youtu.be/0V7YfTn8nLs