We are all upset at the temporary end of the AFL's "Footy Frenzy", where by 33 games were played in just 20 days! And while the AFL is back on Friday, and another bout of frenzied game playing isn't far away, it has still left a gaping hole at the very centre of human civilisation.
Worse, it's left us with little to distract us from an out-of-control pandemic with no obvious end point, ecological collapse and Sydney FC winning the A-League premiership for a record fifth time, which has been set out in all known religious texts as the clearest signal of the End Times.
The loss is far less watching mediocre games whose results are beyond doubt by half time, with the few close games largely due to both sides finding ways to fail to kick goals with a level of skill previously only seen on the Australian left.
No, we all miss the Channel 7 commentary. So, having provided a basic script last week to allow people to not have to watch the game to get their shot of "BT action", I post a new script below so you don't have to miss out.
***
Both sides have everything to play forAnd we’re away!
Great second touch
Touch wasn't clean enough
Beaten by the boundary line
[obscure stat]
It's pretty even around the stoppages
Almost a throw
He's normally a good kick
Well
Not his best effort there
And that's not a good kick
And he slots it through
They set sail again
Just bundled him out the way
A bobbling ball
And that's a miracle goal!
[Blokey banter -- "You'd have got that one wouldn't you Kingo?" "Oh not sure about that Bingo, I reckon he's been practicising those in his back yard"]
Happy to take a bit of time
They're just slowing things down
They're travelling well
[obscure stat]
And just a minor score
They're keeping them in it
Bundled him out the way
He's found the boundary line
Defence doing their job
Some friendly fire
They're grimly defending
Great effort not to give away the free
They've have done all the scoring this quarter
Hugging the boundary line
And it's touched on the line
[obscure stat]
It's within his range
He's missed the mark by a fair margin
Got the better of him that time
Served it up to him on a plate
He needed a kind bounce
He just holds it up
Oh! He felt that!
[blokey banter like "I reckon you know about hits like that eh Kingo" "Oh I don't know about that Bingo, but I reckon I copped a couple of them from you back in the day" (blokely laughter all round)]
It's a real arm wrestle
It's evenly poised here
And they hit the front!
This game's got everything!
He's taken a screamer!
And the goal umpire doesn't move!
Don't go anywhere!
Might have got away with one
Clever use of the footy
And they are back in front!
Who's gonna stand tall?
Heard the umpires call, he's gotta go.
Happy to see it over
[obscure stat]
They stream forward
Just blazes away
A bit of an up and under
Crowd getting a little restless
He's battling hard
A lot of time on the clock
[obscure state]
They've started to even up the numbers around the ball
This will be interesting!
Goes across the face
He'll be disappointed in that
They've just got a sniff here
A low scoring affair
Just over a goal in it
He's missed a sitter!
It's a chaos ball
They've just gotta go here
[obscure stat]
Bounces unkindly
Kicks into space
He should have swallowed that
The next five minutes crucial
There's a bit of feeling in this
[Blokey banter about how "Kingo" didnt mind a bit of a push and shove in their day.]
And who else!
You wouldn't expect anything different from him!
They're hunting in packs!
They're just hanging around
They've clawed their way back into it
And they can go!
And he's picked his pocket
And he makes no mistake!
That's what makes this game so great!
And didn't the crowd love it!
That was on the back of some forward pressure
This game just keeps delivering!
And that'll just about do it!
What a great advertisement for our game
There are a lot take aways from this tonight
...will be very happy to walk away with four points
As for... it's back to the drawing board!
Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti playing footy
Making it into contests when you're thinking that he couldn't
Arms like Arnie and hair like the predator
Just when you thought he couldn't get any better-e
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