Yes, even dental industry spammers from New Jersey want a piece of this blog's action!

Photos via Advanced Dental Group of New Jersey.

Much has been written in praise of this blog, from "totally deranged rantings" to "deeply disturbing insights into the mind of a probable psychopath with substance abuse issues" all the way through to "hardly ever updated".

(And that's just from my mother HAHAHAHA no actually she just refuses to acknowledge my existence these days.)

This blog, if the mail I receive is any indication, is famed over the world as much for the quality of its contents as for its reach into key target communities for spammers ranging from supplement sellers (possibly driven my references to the Mighty Essendon Bombers?) to a disturbingly wide array of porn providers.

But finally, I've made it. Finally the dental industry in New Jersey has been forced to sit up and take notice! And they wanna piece of the Carlo Sands action!!!

Yes, I received in my inbox the following piece of correspondence that indicates beyond all doubt that appreciation of my world-shaping impact only grows.

Hey, Carlo! 

I am Andrea from Advanced Dental Group of Edgewater, I was searching for local bloggers in New Jersey where our business is located and I found your blog www.carlosands.com/2009/06/shane-macgowan-gets-his-teeth-fixed.html. 

I'm writing this to you because I'd love to contribute a guest post to your site or if you find our site helpful to your audience you can add our link as an additional source of information to one of your posts that fits our nature of business. Here is our link: https://www.theedgewaterdentalgroup.com/ 

Please let me know if you’d be open to accepting guest posts. I will be glad to promote it (when live) on our social media profiles. 

Thanks,
Andrea

Wow. It is always nice to be noticed and appreciated by your own locals, isn't it? I mean, sure I may live in Sydney and the closest I ever got to North America was an ill-fated trip to Venezuela in 2005 when I nearly died from e-coli until the Cuban doctors in the country as part of a solidarity exchange with the Hugo Chavez government gave me entirely free and high quality care after a private hospital had milked me for my travel insurance (but that's a whole other story).

But I've drunkenly sung along to Bruce Springsteen's "The River" more times than I can count, so I reckon I'm pretty much born-and-bred Jersey.

What makes this particular piece of correspondence so convincing is how it picks up on the essence of my, to be honest, only ever dental-related blog post -- the highlighted piece on how the frontman of the Irish Celtic-punk pioneers The Pogues, Shane MacGowan, got his famously terrible teeth fixed.

Sure, my post was a disturbed drunken rant about how MacGowan had betrayed everything he ever stood for by selling his soul to Big Teeth, as I like to call these dentistry QUACKS!

But still, somehow, in my uncalled for and frankly quite weird raging about MacGowan selling out, Andrea from the Advance Dental Group of Edgewater has detected, underneath all the bile, an actual fondness for dentistry. In New Jersey.

So please, if you ever find yourself in New Jersey and you've drunkenly smashed you teeth to smithereens like Shane MacGowan, consider giving these people a call. Tell them Carlo sent you, they're fans.



'I come from down in the valley, when mister when you're young, they bring you up to do like your daddy done...' The Boss sings the song of my people.

My latest Carlo's Corner column on the smug bastards ending the world and how I won everything!

My latest "Carlo's Corner" column for Green Left Weekly, fuelled by booze, despair and fury, in no particular order.

Destroying the world is bad enough but do they have to be so smug about it?

It is bad enough that our rulers insist on pushing ahead on a course so disastrous that when a new report says human civilisation could end by 2050, you think “that’s optimistic” as you just saw another report saying the Arctic is melting so rapidly the scientists trying to measure it keep losing their tools, but, honestly, do they need to be so fucking smug about it?

“How good is Australia!,” leers our prime minister, a grown man known as “ScoMo”, who grins like a psychopath who has just caught a fresh victim in a B-grade horror flick.

Defying grammar and Amnesty International reports alike, this is a statement, not a question... read the full rant

 Contemplating the report mentioned in my column, that human civilisation is likely to end in 2050, I got very worried and posed The Big Question on Facebook: "If human civilisation collapses in 30 years, what will happen to all our blogs?"

Of all the responses I got, the most reassuring said: "The blogs will remain, dormant in the datasphere, awaiting the rise of a new civilisation or alien archaeologists."

I thought thank fuck, coz I was getting really worried that this might all be in vain, and I've got some awesome drinking stories buried among the wild rants on here!

However, one other comment simply read: "The hottest take."

I asked, obviously, "Does this mean I win?" and got the reply, "Only if you blog it."

Now I have. I WIN!

I have about three decades, max, to enjoy my victory. I think I'll get another beer.



The weather's been funny thirty years or so
the winters got warm, not as much snow
hear the big cats comin 'cause there's nowhere left to go...
Canadian county singer Corb Lund, in 2007, makes some obvious points.