Wednesday, September 16, 2015

A song for Tony, a song for Malcolm

So the glorious reign of Tony Abbott has come to a bloody end, knifed by his own party due to his unique capacity to combine hated anti-people policies with 12th century social views and a competency level that'd see him sacked as a trolley pusher at a supermarket, probably for winking lewdly at pensioners or throwing lumps of coal at the English backpackers trying to fleece people's cash for Greenpeace.

He's been replaced as our Overlord by Malcolm Turnbull, who is basically the same thing with better social skills, a nicer smile and less a shill for the corporate elite as an actual direct member of the ultra-rich. The richest man in Australian parliament, a multi-millionaire merchant banker and venture capitalist, Malcolm is evidence that anyone can make it in this country, even those who own it.

To mark this occasion, here is a song for Tony.



'You're just some racist who can't tie my laces, your point of view is medieval...'

Written by Lily Allen apparently about George Bush, it is word-for-word a perfect goodbye for the biggest, dumbest prick to ever call the Lodge home.


And here is one for Malcolm.



'Well did you hear, there’s a natural order
Those most deserving will end up with the most
That the cream cannot help but always rise up to the top
Well I say: Shit floats
If you thought things had changed
Friend you’d better think again
Bluntly put in the fewest of words...'


Written by Jarvis Cocker for New Labour when Blair was still PM (directly inspired by the bullshit of the "Make Poverty History" G8 summit in Britain in 2005 where world's leaders pretended to help Africa's poor while finding new ways to screw them backwards), change "world" for "Australia", it applies perfectly to the take over by the shiny, slick prick Turnbull.


BONUS SONG FOR TONY!



'Oh, oh, onion skin
Walking around with
Your heart caved in
When you start to roll
Your skin flies off
And the teardrops flow'


No explanation needed.


BONUS SONG FOR THE FUCKING LOT OF THEM!




'Those peaceful protests just were not cutting it...'

Yeah sure technically Trevor Moore's call to chop the heads off our rulers is about the United States, but no reason the blood can't flow right across our wide, brown land too. Some decent rivers of blood would probably help a few drought-afflicted farmers.

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